A Healing Love

12

Whatever he had to say to her was irrelevant. Miranda was fuming. She got on a plane to proclaim her love for this man and instead, she just ended up looking stupid. Callie and Arizona couldn't get her to talk about what happened in LA. All they knew was that it had to be bad. Miranda was upset during her divorce. But this devastated her. They didn't know how to help her. She refused to talk about it. At first, she sulked but then she just threw herself into her work. She couldn't allow herself to feel all the feelings she was feeling. She heard the whole story. The woman threw herself on Ben. Ben said he may have been flirting first but it was his bad flirting or whatever he called it. Just trying to get on a mean nurse's good side. When she kissed him he immediately pushed her away.

But, that wasn't all. The comment Claudia made about her ignoring Ben. She felt like she did when she read the emails of Tucker complaining about her to another woman. She didn't even fight Ben on it. She didn't even end things with him officially. Just left LA and cut contact. She had a job to worry about, a son to worry about, and now a pregnancy to worry about. She couldn't melt. She had to be the strong one here. She lost focus for a moment. She let Ben get into her head, maybe her heart, definitely her pants and it got her caught up. She couldn't stand the thought of him. She boxed him out of her life and thus she boxed him out of the pregnancy. He wanted to get drunk with his buddies and flirt with women in his condo, so be it. She didn't need that in her life. That was the bed he made in her eyes and she was prepared to make him lie in it. Callie and Arizona didn't fully agree with Miranda's plan but supported her anyway. They eventually found out what happened and their hearts broke for their friend. They wanted to believe that Ben didn't mean to hurt their friend. That everything he said to Miranda he meant. They wanted to hope there was a way for Ben and Miranda to recover from this.

Ben was suffering. As he watched the days tick by he felt worse knowing his baby was growing and he was missing it. He watched as the seconds turned into minutes, the minutes to hours, the hours to days, and the days to weeks. He was missing being there for Miranda as her body went through all these changes to accommodate their baby. He was just missing her in general.

He called and texted her every day at first. Then every week. Then finally he decided to just give up.
He wasn't sure what to do. She had the whole story. She told him through Callie that she believed him but said she didn't forgive him. Ben didn't understand. What was there to forgive him for? If she understood that he didn't cheat on her then what did he need to be forgiven for? She was punishing him for what? Keeping him out of his child's life for what? He did recall being funny and nice that night. He used some bad pickup lines and lazy flirting techniques. Melanie was notorious in that hospital. Everyone hated her and her attitude but Ben wanted to be on her good side. He didn't have any romantic intentions with her. He was intoxicated and maybe he came off stronger than he intended but he would never do anything to hurt the woman he loves. But that's what he did. He explained that but all she heard was "Yeah baby I was flirting with her and she kissed me". With that, Miranda didn't care about his intentions.

She was carrying his child and he couldn't even get her to answer the phone. He threw himself into his work. Any mention of the name Miranda and his attitude would change. His friends hated this predicament.

Claudia felt guilty for even bringing Melanie and Melanie felt bad for Ben. Not that she was completely sorry about the whole event but she was sorry he was missing out on his kid because of it. Ben felt like he was walking around about to explode into a million pieces. The slightest thing would set him off. He was sad and angry and he just swallowed those feelings so he could function. Or at least appear functioning but his friends knew he wasn't really functioning. They knew he wasn't their Ben. He was an empty shell of Ben. Going through the motions. He didn't have that same sparkle in his eye, charm in his voice, or passion that made him their Benjamin.