Those Things...

Fluck a Duck

Um... Hey guys. Why does life hate me? I really want to write something emotional, mainly because I literally watched the love of my life drive out of my life. Isn't that something that happens in sad, sappy love stories? Like, cliche, I know. But it actually happened. On the first of June, to be exact, around 8:30 PM. I had to play at his graduation. And I didn't get to talk to him afterwards. I was so upset. I balled my eyes out. Some understood why. One graduate that I knew was confused. And-since he was one of my first senior friends-I decided to tell him. He then understood.

So, he was walking me to where I had to go, because his truck was right around there. To be honest, I didn't want to walk with anyone, and it was while we were walking that I told him. Then, as we were crossing the road to get to where his truck is and where my destination would be, we were stopped between 2 cars. He has said some witty comment, like, I don't even remember. A LOT of that night was a blur. The only thing I remember-which I remember very crisply-is what happened next.

"Hey, get out of the road!" a voice had said from behind. We turned to see who it was, and guess who?

Yup. My love.

I had mumbled under my breath-something I never thought I'd have to do-"Great..."

And my so-called "escort" started talking with him like it was nothing. And even worse, it was right beside of that car that I had told him. Of course, I'd already told my love that I liked him. But that was besides the point. I just continued walking on the side of the road until I seen traffic take off, so I slowed a bit to make sure I could move just in case I was hit. A habit I was taught by my mother.

My mother. She will play a very important part in this cliche I call my life, here in a little while. Just keep her in mind as I tell you the rest of the story.

As I said, I had slowed. My senior friend had joined me again, but I think I mentally blocked him out as I seen my love drive off.

Now, I'm putting this part in so I could probably get a little laugh. I don't think he has his drivers license. His mother was driving. [Insert snicker]

I walked slowly, watching that damned car leave. Watching my love drive out of my life. Well, his mom was driving. But we can ignore that little fact. That isn't needed.

Then, I continued with my walk. Me and my senior friend parted ways for probably the last time ever, and I walked the 20 feet alone, trying to pull my composure back together before I seen my aunt and cousins again so they wouldn't ask me what was bugging me. I ended up breaking down, but I kept it hidden. I was trying to call my mother, my grandmother, anyone. I couldn't get a hold of anyone, but my grandmother ended up hearing from a graduate that it was over, so she came to pick me up. And that is the end of my story.

Oh, yeah. My mother.

That woman knew what I was to go through that night. I'd told her everything. And I mean everything. So, when I get home, we end up getting into a fight. We exchange a few choice words, and I went to my room to cool off. I had yelled at her. Reminded her that I was heart broken.

What makes it worse is that he graduated 4 short days before my birthday. June 5th.

By the way, my birthday has already past. I'm 14 now.

And remember how I told you that in Florida, I might get to see my crush shirtless? Well, we went. I missed him being shirtless. But my friends got to see him.

My mother made sure I didn't see him. She didn't know my plan, but because of that, I only got to hear what my friends had the pleasure of seeing.

"Oh, he has this really cute scar on his chest!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP. I DONT WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU SEEN, I WANT TO SEE IT."

Ahem.

My mother is the sole reason I didn't get to see that. Her and my entire family.

Don't get me wrong, I love them-some more than others, but what does that matter?-its just, they get in the way. I told them I get to go to Orlando Florida, and of course my mother instantly thinks she's going. And she did. And so did 6 other family members. And they tried to control what I did.

It was MY trip, not my families. I was the one that brought this opportunity to the table. And without me, they wouldn't have even got to go.

Not that I think of it like that, I feel sorta used.

This turned from a tiny story of my life to a rant. And I didn't realize it.

If you found joy in my suffering, or sorrow, or connected to it in some way, shape, or form, I would love to know. If there is any stories you would be willing to share that relates to this topic, and you are okay with sharing it, I would listen. And if you are still going through heartbreak because of that story, just remember, you aren't alone.

I love you all. I really do. You might as well be my brothers and sisters. And I am the loving sister that wants to comfort in times of need.

I don't have a sibling like that. Just friends and one cousin. And now its summer, so now I'm alone and my cousin is at home. I haven't talked to her since school.

I want to give to you what I never had-a shoulder to cry on.

Well, wait a minute. I did have a literal shoulder to cry on. A guy that I had a tiny crush on knew who I liked, so afterwards, we went downstairs and he comforted me while I cried on his shoulder. Hugging me and just helping me altogether.

So, I would like to take after that friend and be a shoulder.

*random burst of comedy hits me*

I AM SHOULDER-WOMAN!!! I COME IN TIMES OF NEED, AND I CAN SHAPE-SHIFT INTO A SHOULDER!!! JUST CAST A TEARDROP LIGHT INTO THE SKY, AND I WILL COME TO CONSOLE YOU!!!

That sounds like a superhero that should actually exist for some reason. ( ._.)