May We Meet Again Book 2: Till The End

Bellamy

"Thanks Bell now I can't feel my fingers." Clarke placed both her hands on a rock having the sun warm them up. I give her a smirk and kiss her shoulder. "Yeah, but it was worth it right?"

"Yeah, honestly I would take keeping my fingers over sex."

"I know me too." I didn't really notice it until now that I can't feel my own fingers. I look over to Clarke who gives me a small smile, then it fades. She does this often and I don't know why. I used to think that it was the nightmares coming back to haunt her, but it's something different.

"Clarke, Clarke what's wrong?" She gives me a sideways glance and starts to walk off into the woods, as usual, she's avoiding my question. "Clarke." I run my fingers through my damp hair and follow her.

"Clarke." She doesn't look back at me which is her silently telling me to drop it. I don't. "Clarke will you please just talk to. For once."

"Got nothing to talk about Bellamy."

"Yeah well, I think we do." She stops suddenly making me run into her "What is it? I mean you always do this. We have these moments and then you just mentally go somewhere, I mean where do you go?"

"I don't go anywhere. I just have all these thoughts okay."

"Thoughts about what?"

"Do you hate me?" her voice cracks at the last bit making me turn her to face me.

"No. No! Why would think I would?" she looks away suddenly and I back away. She can always tell when I'm lying. I close my eyes for a second and collect my thoughts.

"I don't hate you Clarke. I just. I just get mad at you sometimes, about what you would've done." I take in a deep breath "Clarke if I hadn't found you that day in the woods and agreed to this. You were just going to leave me there to cope with everything we did alone."

"I'm sorry Bellamy, I just can't..."

"What you don't think that I get nightmares too? That I don't see the faces of every single person we've ever killed so that we could survive?" I haven't told anyone about my nightmares and I intend to keep it that way, until now.

"When I was inside Mt. Weather I strangled one of the guards. I didn't even think about it I just did it. Then Maya and I came across this school with all these little kids and... this boy came up to me and told me that his dad was training for a ground unit. His dad was the guard I killed. Clarke, I watched that same kid die as we radiated level five, all so that my sister could live. So that we could live."

Clarke finally meets my gaze "Bell..."

"Clarke I need you to know that no matter how I feel about you, i'll always protect you." I'm suddenly distracted by movement above us. Grounders. I look to Clarke taking her hand. Then I see it and instincts take over as I shove Clarke out of the way. My mind goes fuzzy as a pain spreads through my body. "Damn." I look down at my hand that is now covered in my own blood.