ARRANGED BY DESTINY [CHOI SEUNGCHEOL]

CH: 16

Nishita

We were still on the beach, they wanted us to get the perfect sunset shot. I was still wearing that red gown, Noor fixed my makeup a bit. I was starting to exhaust, I wanted to rest after lunch but everyone insisted on taking sunset pictures and that’s why I didn’t even take off my gown. By this time, I even forgot to count how many hours it had been that I was still standing in the water. The fact, waves always calmed me down, whenever I was anxious, and I still see calmness in water but today it was different, I wish the way I was feeling yesterday night standing on the beach, I wanted to feel that.

“I will take my leave now, you enjoy your pre-wedding photoshoot”
“Noor-”

“You have your Seungcheol and it seems like he is way too focused on you today”
“Stop, Noor.”

“Stop what? I am just stating facts, I could see how he is looking at you today”
“Looking like what?”

“Like he doesn’t want to let you go.”
“I think you need to enjoy this beach and the waves or else I think it’s your mind which is way too delusional right now. I can see, you’re losing your mind because you’re way too happy because we are on the beach right now.”

“Nishita-”
“Leave.” And I push her away. It’s like she’s of no use today, she is just finding a way to annoy me.

Since morning we have been clicking pictures and it’s me and Seungcheol and as if Noor and Jeonghan vanished somewhere earlier, then I know I shouldn’t be bothering her because she is also enjoying her time and this place. But the closeness with Seungcheol is making me feel suffocated, as if I can’t breathe when he is this close to me. We had to take a shot, where I would be holding the bouquet and a bit leaning into his embrace, and he would be holding my arms and would be smiling at me. That shot was one of the most difficult because I was trying not to feel awkward but then something inside me was feeling suffocated.

The waves were hitting our feet and I thought that would calm me down a bit but Seungcheol being this close to me was making me rethink all the decisions because every time we had to look at each other, I would try to look into his eyes and it would feel like his eyes were saying so many things.

‘Like he doesn’t want to let you go’ This one line was making me nervous at times and those eyes reminded me of a lot of things, things which I wouldn’t want to relive again. It’s the same reason I’ve been building up a wall between us, because I don’t know whom should I trust and how much I should trust a person, even if it’s Seungcheol.

There was a shot, where I would be holding a bouquet and Seungcheol would be holding my hand gently, I should be glad, I didn’t have to look at him because we were told to smile and he was specifically told that he should look at me like he is ‘in love’ with me. I was looking at the water, holding that bouquet and somehow a smile broke out, which I was unaware of and the photographers told us they were the best shot.

Somewhere I wanted to thank the professionalism we were taught, being a fashion designer comes with everything, we were taught, I could smile and click pictures.

In another shot, we had to run slowly, through the waves, holding our hands and I would be holding the bouquet in my other hand. I don’t know how he was smiling so much, maybe because attending so many business parties made him professional in everything. He knew what he was doing, whereas a smile, for me, is something that hides how I feel. I was trying to enjoy the beach and the water, so that I could smile more naturally, I didn’t want to look fake in these pictures. Although I smiled a lot and tried to enjoy my solo shots because they were my solo shots, without Seungcheol’s proximity which made me nervous at times.