ARRANGED BY DESTINY [CHOI SEUNGCHEOL]

CH: 51

Nishita

I was walking towards our room, I just wanted to lie down and sleep because of the pain. I barely had my dinner because I couldn’t even sit there and eat. No matter how much Heesung wanted to joke around I couldn’t help it today. I knew I was going to snap at anyone if anyone said anything tonight because the pain was giving me hell.

I was glad my Eid didn’t get ruined, and the dates were not back then because I knew my mood swings would give anyone hell and it makes sense why I was craving sugar for past two days.

I left Seungcheol downstairs since he told me he would come later after talking to dad; I couldn’t wait for him tonight. As soon as I entered the room, I barely walked towards the bed and tried lying down. I was holding my stomach like I would die anytime, cramps were a monthly thing and every month, my first two days would be hell and tonight I knew it was going to be tough without any painkiller and if I had a good memory then I didn’t have painkiller anymore. I rarely took any painkiller but tonight wasn’t my day.

I pulled the covers and since ac was on, I tried closing my eyes but I was just twisting and turning because of the pain. I heard the door lock, and I knew Seungcheol was inside the room, “Nishi” I couldn’t turn to look at him, I was dying in pain. “Nishi, are you okay?” My eyes were shut and my hands were on my stomach. “Nishi” his footsteps got closer, “Nishi, are you okay?” I could feel his breath on my face, I slowly opened my eyes.

He was on the floor, bending to my level and looking at me with those eyes that told me he was concerned, “I-I a-” and I paused, I didn’t know what to say, ‘okay’? Definitely not. I was not. Was I in pain? Yes, I was but didn’t know how to sound out the word like this. I know I could tell him but I still didn’t know how to word out.

“Nishi what’s wrong? Tell me.”
  “It’s hurting.” He took a deep breath, I knew I probably looked lifeless, mom would take care of me on the days it was extreme. “What’s hurting?” He looked at me, how was he supposed to know, we never talked about this, and as if he realized what was wrong, “Did you get- I mean are you on your days?” I closed my eyes shut because of the pain. I opened after a few seconds and looked at him, I wanted to cry, I knew my pain tolerance but sometimes I just can’t.

“Give me a minute.” I wanted him to stay, I didn’t know why but I wanted him to stay beside me and tell me it’s okay. I was feeling things which was confusing me. I just closed my eyes and tried to sleep, I didn’t want to seem so pathetic infront of him. I had my eyes closed and then I heard the door close again, which meant Seungcheol was back in his room, I heard the footsteps approaching, “Nishi” I felt his weight on the bed, “Nishi try to turn around.” I tried, to turn around slowly, and when I did, I saw the lights were dimmed in our bedroom and his concerned gaze, his face softened, when his eyes met mine. “Use this” He was holding the hot water pack, I took it from him and put it on my stomach, I felt better. “Do you want to lower the temperature, I know it’s hot and it’s summer soon, so if you want to then I will lower the room temperature.”

I couldn’t say anything. “Do you take prescribed painkillers? Or do you take DOLO 650?” I was a bit better than earlier, which meant I could talk, “I take painkillers at times, but it’s very rare, I haven’t probably taken any painkiller in the past five to six months because it was never this bad” my breaths were heavy because it was hurting too much right now. The pain was bearable in the evening when I was at work but before dinner, it was just too much for me to hold. In short, my morning was ruined today, just after I woke up.

“I’ll be back” I looked at him, getting out of bed. I closed my eyes, trying to fall asleep. I heard the door close again, I knew if I let my mind move around somewhere else then I might not think about the pain and forget it all.