ARRANGED BY DESTINY [CHOI SEUNGCHEOL]

CH: 31

Seungcheol

Nishi was silent while we were walking towards our bedroom, once we were inside our bedroom, I locked the door. I wanted to ask her if she’s okay or not, I was just fidgeting with my hands because I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable because of bua but I didn’t want to make anything awkward between us by asking as well.

“I will-”
“Are you-” we both turned at eachother, she was surprised, “you go first.” She shook her head, “You first”

“No, this time your turn Nishi” She took a deep breath and I was standing there only, “I was thinking of unpacking almost everything, it won’t take a lot of time for me to do so.” I nodded, and she motioned me to speak “Are you okay?” she looked at me, almost confused. “Yes, I am, why won’t I be?” she looked so normal and unfazed, as if…. She’s used to it.

“No, I meant, downstairs” she was looking like nothing happened there, “well leave it” she nodded, “okay.” And walked towards the walk-in closet and then suddenly the whole bedroom felt too big and empty. I wanted to tell her, that she can always come and tell me if there’s anything that is bothering her and if anyone’s words make her uncomfortable or sad.

I sat on the bed wondering how to voice out my feelings and talk to her about this. I was just staring at the clock it was 10:56 pm and it’s been a whole hour that Nishita was unpacking her things. The urge to go and check up on her was high, I wanted to make sure she was okay when she was with me at least.

I got up and was about to walk towards the closet and suddenly I saw her coming with clothes in her hand, “I’m going to take a shower” I nodded at her words. When she got inside the bathroom, I went towards the closet to take out my nightwear so that once she’s out, I would go take a quick shower and then sleep.

Oh, sleep… it’s us again.

I wanted to shrug off all the thoughts, I went to take out my clothes and I was just standing there holding my clothes; more like I was lost. I just went towards my bed, there were so many thoughts going on inside me right now but the most important one was telling Nishi whatever I was feeling.

I saw her coming out of the bathroom and she was in her nightwear, considering it was still February, she was wearing those printed woolen pants which looked cute on her. “I will go take a quick shower” She nodded and I went inside.

The warm water shower is best, nothing beats it and never, it always makes you feel better no matter how you’re feeling. It didn’t take me a long time and I came out and my eyes spotted Nishi, she was applying something on her face.

She was being very gentle with herself and as if she sensed my staring, she turned to look at me, I was in a crisis because I probably had to say something but I didn’t know what to say. I was trying to avoid the eye contact and then I realized, I would see her do this every night from now on. This is her night routine and we will be sharing the same space from now on. “Umm… continue what you are doing”
“You wanted to say something?” I shook my head, “Nothing” and I walked towards the bed, I was sitting on the bed and she continued her night routine.

“Nishi?” I called her, not even after 10 seconds passed.
“Hmm?” her eyes were closed and she was applying a cream, “Are you sure you are okay? I just wanted to tell you… that…” I know I was hesitating because I didn’t know how to word it out loud, “If you feel like you want to say something, you can always come and talk to me, it would make you feel better and if you’re uncomfortable at any point just know I am here to hear you out. And specially bua… if you feel-”

She turned to look at me, “Don’t worry Seungcheol, I’m strong”

“Nishi, this isn’t about being strong, I should know whenever something is wrong and if that involves you. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or sad because of anyone. And you’re a member of my family now, so you are going to be treated the way everyone is treated.”
“Seungcheol-”