I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take the day off.
What did the rock star say to the astronaut going to space?
Let's rock it!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef!
How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.
I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate.
When is the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth Hurty!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He never lands. I love this joke because it never grows old.
-Bert an Ernie talking from Sesame Street-
Bert: Say, Ernie, do you want some ice cream?
Ernie: Sherbert.
I got the moves like jaguar!
Mommy, why are people so cruel? It feels like they don't carrot all!
