How do you make a tissue dance?
Blow a little boogie in it
What did the snowman want for lunch?
Chile dogs
What did Frosty the Snowman get from the lunch menu?
A Frosty
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they're really good at it...
What's orange and sounds like parrot?
Carrot
What's blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot
What is Forrest Gump's password?
1Forest1
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels
Where do sick boats go?
The dock
What do you call Nitrogen after the sun rises?
Daytrogen
How often do I tell jokes about the elements?
Periodically...
What's the capital of Greece?
G
What's a cannibal's favorite spice?
Skinnamin
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Get in the car
What do you call a crazy judge?
Judgmental
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent
Where did Little Suzy go when the bomb hit?
Everywhere
Why is outer space so cold?
Because all the space heaters are on Earth
What do Royal Subjects call the King of Toilet Paper?
Your plyness
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
My grandpa has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Helen Keller walks into a bar, table and a chair.
Two whales enter a bar. One says, "EUUUUUUUUUUUEWUEWIWWWEUEEEEEEEW!" (Whale noise)
The other one says, "Frank, what's wrong with you?"
