"If you were me, Maj, and he asked you to come back to him, what will you do?!", I asked Majoy who happened to be my seatmate in our way to Iligan City for an exhibition game at La Salle Academy, Iligan City Campus.
She looked at me wide-eyed, her eyes' combination of confused-shocked look. "Nakikipagbalikan siya, 'Chi?", and I nodded hesitantly. "Ang tanong, gusto mo ba? Kaya mo na ba? 'Chi kahit naman kase sagutin ko yung tanong mo, hindi pa din ako ang makakapagdesisyon niyan. And besides, ikaw ang higit na nakakaalam nun."
I bowed my head. Nakamove-on na ako eh. Bakit kailangan pa kasing bumalik-balik at manggulo. I have made and set up my mind na wala na talagang forever, only MikaNiel. Lol. Kidding aside, I really was confused. When he kissed me last night, I almost lost my balance but still wanted to applaud myself for managing not to trip like a jell-o.
No, I didnt respond to his kisses and hug but that doesnt mean na wala na siyang epekto sa akin. Well, I have prepared myself that one day, we'll see each other. I had practiced my reaction but none of them came out last night. Strange.
Because of what he did before, never crossed my mind that he'd asked forgiveness and ask me to come back to him. Never. Even in my wildest dream. He said, he loves me. Ewan. And I thought I said the right words when I told him he didnt love me kasi kinaya niyang iwan ako. And I saw how sorry he was for leaving me.
He asked forgiveness last night but I was bitch not to give him what he wanted. Well, I was hurt, what do you expect me to do? To give my forgiveness in just a blink of an eye? Hell no. HE actually almost kneeled but I stopped him by saying "Tapos ka na? Papasok na ako." coldly. Showing no emotions at all. He nodded and let me in.
As soon as I entered my room, the tears that I have been holding fell down. I already told myself before that I wont cry over him again, but I still did. I saw how hirt and desperate he was to win me back but I was blinded by my anger and pain.
Pagod na kasi ako. Pagod ng umiyak at umintindi. I already had enough. Takot na ako. I was afraid to fall in love and be hurt again, with the same person.
I thought, this year's birthday was the happiest but it turned out like it was the saddest.
"Earth to, Mika. Yuhoo!", I saw Majoy snapping her fingers in front of my face. "You're spacing out, Achi."
I apologized. "Ano nga yung tinatanong mo kanina?", and she repeated her question, "Ahh. Nagcoffee lang kami ni DJ.", and flashed my pretentious smile. Well, I was really happy but I my confusion over some other things overpowered my happiness and kilig. Nakakainis.
"For someone who loves DJP so much, its not the reaction I anticipated from you."
"Kinikilig kaya ako...sobra!", but my smile was saying otherwise.
"Stir. You are no good actress", Majoy being a smart kid, never bit in, "Spill it. Achi!"
And I told her the whole story. But her reaction was just priceless. "Sinabi mo yun, Chi?", Majoy's chinita but when I spilled one of lines, her eyes turned into an Indian-like eyes. Naging 1000 watts bigla. Oh well, my comparison about her eyes' a bit racist. Tsk. My bad.
I nodded. Madami akong pambara na sinabi kay Kiefer. He told me was jealous when he saw me together with DJ and I answered him "Bakit ka nagseselos? May karapatan ka ba? Tanong lang.", he looked down and answered me "Jealousy isnt a right, Miks. Its an emotion. Wala nga siguro akkong karapatang magselos but I dont think I can override my hypothalamus. If I could just install a software in my brain para maging numb na ako, I will definetly do it."
"Pamatay mga linyahan niyo, Chi. Di nakaya ng kagandahan ko.", said Majoy who was laughing her heart out. Nacorynhan to, sure ako. "Kung narinig lang sana yan ng mga Miefs, for sure ako, kakalat na na sa twitter ang memes niyo with those lines inserted. Anong plan mo, though?"
