I rode a taxi goping home. Sa sobrang asar ko, umuwi na lang ako. Ayaw ko namang mag iskandalo dun. Nakakahiya and it will show how I am as a person. At hindi ako scandalosa kaya better go home.
When I was in the taxi, seriously, I didnt cry. I let myself think kung tama ba yung ginwa ko kay Kiefer kanina. Was it unfair to him? Was it the right time blurt out? Was i had a point sa pinaglalaban ko? Did I hurt him with the words I said? Well, one thing was for sure, it wasnt in the right place, pero wala na tapos na. Nangyari na.
I looked for my phone inside my sling bag, I decided to text him pagdating ko ng bahay. Kahit naman inis ako sa kanya at sobra ang pagseselos ko, I didnt want him to be worried about me. I thought that it was still my duty to tell him where I was, hindi por que't nag-away kami, pag-aalalahanin ko na siya.
Dont worry about me. I am home.
I sent it to him at wala siyang reply. I didnt care, basta ang alam niya kung nasaan na ako.
"Oh, ang aga mo ata, Ate? Hindi pa tapos ang laro ah. Third set pa lang, lamang Uste.", Miko greeted me and I just nodded my head.
"Oo nga, Miks, bakit ang aga mo? Where is Kiefer?", Papa asked.
"Nandun pa po, Pa, nasa venue pa. Umuna na ako, masama kase pakiramdam ko.", I lied to him but I knew that Mama knows why I went home early. For sure, base on my facial expression, alam na niya kung bakit pero hindi siya nagsalita. "Akyat lang po ako.", and Papa nodded.
I went upstairs and closed the door of my room. Nakakainis pala pag nagseselos noh? Kahit alam mo at ramdam mo na nagsasabi ng totoo sayo ang taong mahal mo, you will disregard it because you are too busy accommodating the feeling of suspicions and pain both at the same time. I thought it was healthy to be jealous, but hindi din pala talaga. Paano pag hindi na naayos? Mawawala ang mahal mo dahil lang sa pag-iinarte mo.
I heard a knock on my dopor and I knew it was Mama. I immediately stood up and went to the door to open it for her. "Anong problema anak?", as soon as she entered the room.
I frowned and sat on the bed. "Ma, mali po ba ang ginawa ko?"
"Ano bang nangyari?", and I told her what really happened. "Nagsorry na man na siya. di ba?", and I nodded in agreement, "Bakit hindi ka pa okay?"
"Hindi ko din po alam, Ma. Mas inuna ko po kasi yung inis at selos ko kesa sa kanya. Mali eh."
"Buti alam mong mali.", and she smiled. "Alam mo ba dati, Ye, nagkahiwalay kami ng Papa mo for two months dahil sa selos na wala sa lugar."
"I was really jealous with this girl na alam ko namang wala lang sa Papa mo. I thought, dahil sanay na akong kahit kasalanan ko eh siya ang nagsosorry at sumusuyo, yun pa din ang gagawin niya. But I was totally wrong,", she confided, "Nagsawa na rin kasi siya. Napagod. Nung una, nagsorry naman talaga siya pero masyado kong tinigasan ang puso ko. But when he stopped, dun ko narealize how selfish I was for not forgiving him."
"After nun, ako na ang naghabol. Ako na ang nanuyo, and to tell you honestly, it wasnt simple as ABC, Ye.", and I realized one ting too, I was selfish, "Hindi ako pinansin ng Papa mo, I was about to give up but I let myself beg for his forgiveness one last try, and luckily, he said yes. You see, yung mga ganyang awayan, madali lang naman yang isosolve, Anak eh. All you just need to have is proper communication and being selfless. Sa tingin mo, anong nararamdaman ng boyfriend mo ngayon?"
"Nasasaktan po, Mama.", I answered and she asked why, "Kase po, una hindi ko po tinanggap yung sorry niya, at saka po, alam ko namang nasasaktan siya sa mga sinabi ko. Saka siguro po, may pagkadisappointed din po siya sa ginawa ko, he already explained pero hindi po ako nakinig."
