The Dusk Paradigm: Born Unloved | VOCALOID AU | WITH OCS

|Henry| Chapter 10: Grief.

Yuna and Henry were in the bathroom. The woman was holding a pair of scissors in her hand, and Henry was looking at his hair in the mirror. "You really didn't have to do this, Yuna. Why do you love cutting my hair so much?" he asked. Yuna shrugged. "You said it was too long and wanted it cut, so I cut it for ya'!" Henry yawned. He kept staring into the mirror. His cut off hair was laying all over the bathroom floor. He looked back at Yuna and said, "Hun, remember the ol' saying, 'Hair holds memories'?"

_

I was sitting on my bed, my head buried into my hands. I felt like a fool. Everything I had, everything I had to keep me together, just gone like that. I got up and made a fist, punching the wall. All I could do was scream out in anger and grief. Fuck, what the hell am I even doing? How the hell am I gonna do this? I can't be a single father. I can't raise him alone, can I? No, I can't can't put him up for adoption or just— I don't know, get rid of him. He's my son! It's been around a month, and I still can't get over it.

I paced around the room many times, trying to think. Damn it, I can't figure out what to do. C'mon, Henry, you're in your 30's with a son and you're still an idiot! You can't think of one thing to do?

I sat on the floor against the bed and sighed. I felt beyond stupid, beyond stupid! I felt tears form in my eyes. No, I'm a man. I can't cry. I wiped them, but they kept coming. I kept wiping them away and clenching my jaw, trying to keep them in.
"No, keep it in, keep it in!" I whispered to myself. I gripped my thighs, trying to control myself. I lifted my head up.

"Come on Henry...." I said to myself. I suddenly heard a knock on the bedroom door. I opened it to see my small child looking up at me. "Papa, is everything alright— ? I—I heard you screaming." he asked, with that cute concerned face. I sigh and nod my head. I kneel down to his height and ruffled his hair. "I—I'm just fine. I'm sorry you had to hear that. That's my fault, I'm sorry."

Fukase shook his head. "Papa, is it because of M—"
I put my finger to his lips. I gave him a sharp look and shook my head. He gave me his typical puppy eyes. I groaned and sat on the floor with him.
"Look kid, it's been extremely hard for the both of us since the incident. You're right. As you know, I've known your mum since I was about twelve." I said. Fukase nodded, understanding what I was saying.

"Papa, is it true you used to bully Mama?" he asked. My eyes widened. "Where did you hear this from!?" Fukase shook his head. "She told me a couple months ago. She told me that you used to hate her, then she— uh....."

He paused, thinking.

"Humbled you! That was the word. She said she humbled you and stuff." he stammered. I roll my eyes, remembering Yuna's typical silliness. God, I miss her. I miss her so fucking much. I looked at Fukase, my eyes watering again. "Yeah. I can't believe she told you that, huh." I said, my voice breaking. Fukase clinged onto me. "Papa!" he yelled. I shook my head. "No, No, I'm alright." I rubbed his shoulder with one hand, and wiped my watery eyes with the other. Daisy was hopping out of Fukase's room. He crawled over and pet brown rabbit. Bella joined, and he pet her too.

I got up as he was distracted by his pets. I went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. I was a mess. My hair had grown to long, its about down to my mid-back. I leaned on the counter and examined myself. I had dark eyebags, my hair was messy, and oh Jesus, are those cheek wrinkles? Can't be. Damn it, I'm fucking old. Whatever, I opened one of the drawers and pulled out a pair of scissors, and some other supplies. I needed to cut my hair. I took a final look at my dark, curly hair. Black, fading into a maroon color.

-
It wasn't long until my hair was was cut to slightly above my shoulders. I looked into the mirror and groaned. I looked so sickly. I looked dead. My skin was pale, my eyes were wide and dull, my eyebags were terrible. I didn't feel good at all. I cleaned up everything I cut off and walked downstairs. Fukase was on the living room floor, petting Bella and watching some cartoon. He looked over at me with a shocked look.

"Papa, your hair!"

I kneeled back down to his height again as he walked up to me. He reached his arms out to feel my hair. I let him ruffle it around without a fuss until he accidentally pulled a little. "Ouch!"
I pulled his arms away. "And yeah, I had to cut it off." I yawned. He tilted his head. "Sorry. You look different." He said, sitting down on his knees.

"You look very different." he said.

-
Rin was in her room on her bed, reading. Someone knocked on her door.

"Come in!" she said.

She smiled as she saw the twin-tailed idol enter her room. Miku shut the door and sat on her bed. "Rin, you know, I was thinking of going out for a little." she smiled. Rin sat up and shook her head. "Normally I'd say yes but damn, I'm exhausted. I'm sorry." said Rin. Miku scooted close to her and rested her head on her shoulder. "Don't worry, I was just wondering."

...

"It was Len, wasn't it?" said Miku. Rin groaned. "You're able to see right through me. Fine, it was Len." "What'd he do this time?" she asked. The blonde turned away and played with her ring that Miku had gifted to her a couple months ago. "Remember when he shoved you out of the room after yelling he'll show me 'Out-of-my-mind!' then saying he needed to talk to me? Yeah, no. He just yelled at me and shoved me into a wall."

Miku sighed and flopped on the bed. Rin snuggled up, resting her head on Miku's chest. "I feel helpless," Miku said, digging her fingers in Rin's hair, scratching her favorite spot on her scalp, "I don't know what to do." "He's just immature." Rin whispered. Miku closed her eyes. "Can't you learn to stop defending him? I understand how you feel, but if I'm being honest, Len is a asshole. I'll gladly say this while he's gone stalking Ian, or whatever his name is." she snapped. Rin sighed.

"I'm sorry. I ju— wait, Ian? Don't you mean 'Henry'?"