Hazbin Lights (A Inanimate Insanity & Hazbin Hotel AU)

Arc 2 Chapter 15: Inanimate Island Is Forever

Lightbulb was still listening to Four & X trying to guess the problem, which was slowly driving her nuts.

"-& when you take her out for the fifth time & she still expects you to pay the check, but you're like, 'Hey, I thought you wanted equality." Four guessed.

"I know. That's so fucking annoying." X agreed.

"Right?"

"No! Our shared problem of overpopulation on Inanimate Island." Lightbulb lost it & spilled out.

"Ohh! Well, that's not a problem! We got that covered. X, how many eliminated contestants did we kill this year?" They asked their partner.

"Around 275 this year, Four."

"275!? That's badass!" They fist bumped.

"Uh, no, not awesome. Those are my people! You know that, right?"

"Oh, yeah... Sucks for you!" Four laughed.

Lightbulb didn't think any of this was funny & tried to talk to them.

"But these are souls. Living souls, just the same as the ones you have up on Dream Island." She tried to convince them. But X didn't agree.

"They're not the same. They had their chance & they earned it." X explained.

"You're wrong. Eliminated contestants made mistakes, sure, but everyone makes mistakes." She told them.

"Winners don't make mistakes." X disagreed.

"You really think that?" Lightbulb asked them, not believing in them.

"I know that." They answered.

"Yeah, I never made a mistake in my fuckin' life." Four agreed with X.

"The only reason why you're still here is because you're an island born & your father made the choice of sparing every island born from the extermination." X explained.

"Yeah!" Four agreed.

Lightbulb stared at them, disgusted.

"Welp, almost out of time. Guess we should get into it." Four told her.

"Oh! Fuck!" Lightbulb rushed as she got up.

"Okay, I've got a lot to get through & not a lot of time & it feels like you weren't really hearing me before, so here it goes." She rushed as she explained & sang.

"I know Inanimate Island's population is out of control. It's a bad situation, it's taking a toll. If we rehab these contestants & cleanse all their souls, at my Happy Hotel! Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself!"

She stopped to get her drawings to explain more.

"Right! Extermination! I know you guys come down just to kill once a year. & it must be annoying to schlep all the way here. But if they join you on Dream Island, that trip disappears! You can wave that chore farewell. It'll be a happy day on Inan-" Before Lightbulb could continue to sing, Four stopped her & sang.

"Let me stop you right there, save us all precious time." Four stopped her & sang.

"Okay."

"If what you're suggesting is letting them climb up the ladder. Oh, they'd rather cross the golden gate."

"Well, I-"

"Sorry, sweetie, but there's no defyin' their fates! Cause Inanimate Island is forever whether you like it or not. Had their chance to play better, now they boil in the pot! Cause the rules are black & white, there's no use in tryin' to fight it! They're burnin' for their lives until we kill them for good!"

"Okay, but-" Lightbulb tried to explain, but Four wouldn't listen & continued to sing.

"Let's just try to chillax, babe. You're wasting your breath. Did I hear you imply that they don't deserve death!? Are they winners? Are they losers? Cause it's cut & dry! Cause fair is fair, an eye for an eye! & when all said is done, there's the question of fun. & for those of us with divine ordainment, extermination is entertainment! Bow-now-now-nownow. Guitar solo, fuck yeah! Da-ah-ah now-now-n-now-n-now-n-now-n-nownownow.

Lightbulb watched, hearing the terrible things.

"Inanimate Island is forever, whether you like it or not! Had their chance to play better, now they boil in the pot! Cause the rules are black & white, there's no use in tryin' to fight it. They're burnin' for their lives until we kill them for good!"

X threw a guitar at Four & they played it while singing.

"Fuckin' Inanimate Island is forever & it's meant to suck a lot! So give up your dumb endeavor cause you don't have a shot. Long as we got your attention, I guess we should probably mention that we've made the determination. To move up the next extermination!"

"What!" Lightbulb heard in shock.

"Can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts! We know it's just been a week, but we'll be back in 6 weeks!" Four finished & smiled as they pushed Lightbulb out of the room.

Lightbulb quickly got up & ran to the door to talk to them.

"6 weeks!? Wait, didn't you-"

Before Lightbulb could even reach in time or finish, the door closed. She banged on the door, but nobody answered or opened it.

"Aww shit!" She yelled as she banged her hand one more time.

She fell down on the floor, crying about the meeting. Once again, nobody would listen to her.

...

Lightbulb came back to the hotel, upset about the meeting. Once she entered, Test Tube was the first to run up to her.

"Lightbulb!" She greeted & hugged her.

"How did it go? Did they listen?"

Lightbulb wanted to tell her everything that happened, but she also didn't want her to worry.

"Uh... They sure did hear it... but..." She tried to explain, but Test Tube could tell what happened.

"It didn't go well, huh?"

Lightbulb nodded.

"How about you tell us more after we show you?" Test Tube told her, confusing Lightbulb.

"Show me what?" She asked.

Test Tube grabbed her hand & took her to the parlor.

"Fan & I pulled some strings to make a new commercial & it's about to air!" Test Tube explained excitedly.

"Wait, the commercial? You all made a new one!?" Lightbulb asked, still not believing in them.

"Yeah, one of my better performances, if I do say so myself." Paintbrush answered.

Lightbulb smiled as her day got a little better.

"That's... That's amazing!" She cried.

Lightbulb knew she had something very important to tell them, but she waited to tell after the commercial. The commercial came on & everyone watched it.

...

A little drone flew around the city. It stopped at a body that was missing a head. The drone scanned the dead body & flew back up in the sky. After a while, the drone was in a building, projecting the image of the dead body. Four & X looked at the picture, not pleased one bit.

"They found the body, Four. They've never managed to kill one of us. Should we go down now & destroy them?" X asked their partner, as they still stared at the body.

"No. We can't risk them catching on. But don't worry. When we come back, there won't be enough time, or enough losers alive to pull a stunt like that again!" Four smiled.

They both laughed as their plan was coming along nicely, like they wanted.