Stray Kids Oneshots Collection (Smut & Fluff)

19 ¦ My Special Boy

A/N: This fic contains age-regression (non-sexual)

Ship: Felix / Bang Chan

Words: 1,247

Summary: Chan is rocking him ever so gently in his hold as he stops crying. Swaying him from side to side. Felix shifts a little so that he sits sniffling in his lap. He feels himself getting lost in one of those headspaces that typically happen after his panic attacks. He can't help it, Chan simply feels like home. Chan can silence him, Chan is the only one who can calm him down without telling him how to.

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His chest hurts. Felix hiccups as he presses the palms of his hands against his eyes. He is so done with life; he doesn't know what to do anymore. Everything hurts so much, physically and emotionally. He just wants to feel okay, but how can he feel okay when life continues to make him feel like shit?

He doesn't have enough strength to close the window above him. The wind keeps gazing at his skin and it gives him goosebumps. He is cold; and so he raises his knees to his chest. His inhales shake, he can't even manage to cry properly because of the pain that grudges through his throat.

He acknowledges steps entering into his room, a figure crouching down to his eye level. Felix knows it's Chan, but he isn't strong enough to explain; to hide his vulnerable side.

Chan takes him into his arms. Chan hugs him, tightly, because he knows he needs to feel him entirely to calm down.

Felix's cries are whimper-like as he feels Chan's skin under his fingertips. His head and arms are pressed against his collarbones, making it for him possible to smell Chan's familiar scent. At first, he is hesitant about touching him, Chan didn't even ask what was going on. But then maybe, Chan already knows what he needs.

Talking to him during his breakdowns won't help Felix, since he is into a state of angst. Felix wouldn't understand the meaning of the kind words Chan would offer. And so Chan hums, softly and in adagio - doesn't shush him. It's a familiar melody Felix has heard somewhere, and at first it doesn't do anything to him. Because his ears are ringing, so loud and so painfully overwhelming. It's part of the reason why he wants everything to stop. Felix continues to tremble in his arms, cries bitterly and now louder because he is at his limit.

But as he starts to acknowledge Chan's warmth against his skin, as his hums become more present; Felix tries to breathe.

Chan always told him during his panic attacks to simply breathe. Focus on your breaths, okay 'bok? He would say, and Felix repeats those exact words over and over.

Air flows in, and out. In, and out. Only that. It's manageable, he realizes, he can do that.

Chan is rocking him ever so gently in his hold as he stops crying. Swaying him from side to side. Felix shifts a little so that he sits sniffling in his lap. He feels himself getting lost in one of those headspaces that typically happen after his panic attacks. He can't help it, Chan simply feels like home. Chan can silence him, Chan is the only one who can calm him down without telling him how to.