Stray Kids Oneshots Collection (Smut & Fluff)

21 ¦ Would you kiss me?

Warnings: Mention of past sexual abuse, sex education, panic attacks, asexuality

Ship: Jeongin / Seungmin

Words: 2,692

Summary: "Look" Seungmin pushes Hyunjin and Minho out of the way and grabs Jeongin's wrist to hold it up in the air, "he is shaking, what the fuck Hyung?" Everyone takes a step back and watches Jeongin with big eyes.

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"And you, what is your relationship with sex?"

Jeongin's eyes go wide as Hyunjin asks him the question. Five more pairs of eyes ogle at him and wait for his answer.

Jeongin looks at his friend group in the living room. Felix sits on Jisung's lap, Hyunjin is leaning against his boyfriend Minho, and Seungmin sits next to him. It's Hyunjin's birthday party, or at least what they told him it would be, but it ended up being a 'let's-talk-about-sex' session.

And it's ironically funny for Jeongin to talk about sex experience if you have, well - none.

"Me? I think- good? I would say normal?" he answers the question, but gets a weird look from Hyunjin in return. Minho just wiggles with his eyebrows.

"Yeah but like, are you like afraid of sex or are you the explorer type, or do you know already what you like and don't like?"

"I don't know" Jeongin laughs awkwardly, "I'm virgin so I can't really know? But I think I'm fine with it"

That's actually pretty much wrong, but they don't have to know that.

Jeongin is horrified by sex. Just the thought of it makes him want to rip his insides out. Just the imagination of someone touching him in a way gives him the worst memories, the most painful flashbacks. Becomes suddenly aware of all the nights he spent crying on the bathroom floor. He wishes he could burn his eyes and mind, so that he can't remember a thing.

On the other side, he tries to live with it, pretends how he feels is normal and learns how to cope with it. Jeongin likes to read romance books that contain so much subtle love. He likes to watch movies where the main lead protects and suffers for his girlfriend. Reads smut eventually, but then again only if it's combined with fluff. He can't even manage to listen to those catchy songs that mention sex acts – like Megan Thee stallion ones – because it gives him the shivers.

The convo wanders again to their own experiences and first times. The whole friend group talks about how they lost their virginity, share their body count.

"Wait, you're not virgin anymore?" Jeongin's face falls, as Seungmin is telling his side of the story.

He and Seungmin are very close; those types of friends that share every little detail. Went to school together, had the same classes. Even their mothers are best friends. But how could he never have mentioned to him about this important experience? They literally share with each other from stupid stuff to their darkest secrets.

"Oh well yeah, I forgot to tell you" his lips form a shy smile, as he looks down at his feet. "But yeah that was months ago. It just happened, you know."

It just happened?

Seungmin meets Jeongin's eyes and pouts as he sees the disappointed look in them.