Stray Kids Oneshots Collection (Smut & Fluff)

46 ¦ Can anybody hear me?

Warnings: contains episodes of derealisation, depersonalisation, mental breakdown, disassociation, disconnection disorder, mental breakdown, intrusive thoughts 

Ship: Seungmin / Bang Chan

Words: 1,442

Summary: Everything overwhelms him, his skin itches, he wants to rip it off, to the point he can't manage to breathe properly. He wants to run back so bad, wants to be guarded by Chan's arms so badly.

A/N: I apologize in advance for the depressive chapter again y'all😭I promise it has a happy ending

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He doesn't know what has been wrong with him lately. He zones out, a lot. That much, that his teachers have asked him about it.

Seungmin has been feeling so detached from everything lately. He can't bring himself to smile and feels low, lower than usual. He can't even rate his mental state and this point, he fears he will over-analyze it too much.

But it hits him worse on an afternoon, when he went grocery shopping. He needed to buy some ingredients for a cake he wanted to bake. His headphones were out of battery, which he had thought wouldn't be much of a problem. But it was worse - he had forgotten how overwhelming it feels to go out with no music in his ears.

He finds himself standing in the fruits section, people rushing around him, the beeping of the checkout machines is right around the corner. Suddenly everything isn't in the right place, he feels invisible, disoriented and alone. Seungmin knows it's not, but it looks so convincing. What if he's actually just alone in the world, just a frame of imagination?

The lights around him are strong, the voices of people near him are stinging his ears – he barely can hear his own thoughts. His mind makes him think those people are not real, that everything might be an illusion.

He grips at the fabric of his jeans tightly for some hold, trying to clench and unclench his fist. He feels so fucking small suddenly, as if this was the first time he had been in public. Everything overwhelms him, his skin itches, he wants to rip it off, to the point he can't manage to breathe properly. He wants to run back so bad, wants to be guarded by Chan's arms so badly.

He is frozen. He can't move. Seungmin hates to be like this, hates to be influenced by his mind so easily. But it's who he is and he can't help it. With shaky hands, he takes out his phone and choses to call Chan's contact.

"Hey baby" the older's voice happily chimes in. Seungmin can't speak though, he only breathes heavily against the mic. He has crouched down, since standing has become too much too handle. His other hand is pulling against his hair; desperately trying to make this all stop. He shuts his eyes, so that he can focus on talking with Chan.

"Seungmin?" he hears Chan call out, but it doesn't make him speak up. When Chan asks him if he wants him to get picked up, he mutters a "yes". Chan knows him well, can read through him perfectly.

Strangers look at him confused when they pass by him, but thank god no one approaches him. Seungmin doesn't know how much time has passed, he barely feels the stinging pain in his knees. He doesn't even remember anymore why he is here.