Stray Kids Oneshots Collection (Smut & Fluff)

36 ¦ Feeling you close

Warnings: This chapter contains depersonalisation/derealisation episodes, panic attacks, disconnection disorder

Ship: Felix / Minho

Words: 737

Summary: "Help" he mouths, but this time Minho catches his voice. He sits up quickly, eyes big and alarmed. Felix doesn't know how he looks like staring at him, but it does something to Minho.

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He thought it was due to his tiredness at first, but he might've been wrong.

Felix froze with whatever task he was doing as he started feeling it. Again.

He was simply assembling the new table they got from IKEA, when he suddenly felt so weird.

His gaze focused on his hands before him, them at once seeming to be so far away. His eyes moved to his arms, but those didn't seem to belong to his body.

He looked up, and could see Minho sitting on the couch. He is reading something and not really paying attention to him.

"Hyung" he called, but Felix's voice didn't even seem to come from his own throat. Maybe he wasn't loud enough. He is having an episode again, and he is now starting to freak out.

Felix sets down whatever item he is holding but doesn't dare to stand up. It feels so weird to move, so weird to do things when his limbs don't feel like to belong to him. The whole world suddenly feels so fake, the blurriness of his sight making it seem like a dream.

"Help" he mouths, but this time Minho catches his voice. He sits up quickly, eyes big and alarmed. Felix doesn't know how he looks like staring at him, but it does something to Minho.

"You're alright?" he asks, setting down the book next to him. Felix tries to respond, but he can only manage to breathe. It's weird to acknowledge the oxygen entering and exiting his own lungs, he doesn't even feel it.

His boyfriend finally rushes to him and kneels before him on the floor. He is closer now, but seems so far away from his point of view. "Having an episode again?"

"I think so", Felix answers, and looks down at his hands. "Hyung, I'm scared" he whispers, realizing that he is starting to feel even worse now. In worst cases, he won't even feel alive.

"Oh, no Lix, I got you" Minho brings Felix closer to him, taking the younger by his arms and hugging him from behind. "It will pass soon okay? Just listen to me"

And Felix wishes he could, but Minho sounds simply fake. He is almost starting to believe he is in fact just part of his imagination, which sounds like a nightmare. Minho, not being real. The love is life, never having existed.

"Min" he whimpers panicked, turning his head hastily around so that he can catch Minho's eyes. The man is already looking at him, so fondly and assuredly. "Hyung is here, Lix. Let's get you to bed alright?"

Felix doesn't really know how they both made it to their bedroom. But he is suddenly tucked in bedsheets, not even acknowledging that he is still wearing his usual clothes. Minho is right next to him, but that doesn't help him with the fact that his dissociation hasn't stopped.

"Baby you hear me?" he picks up, and locks eyes with Minho, who is lying down next to him. Brown eyes glance over his face, his familiar features assure Felix that it is in fact not a dream. His face is utterly close to his, and he kind of feels his breath hitting his cheeks. Like this, he can feel Minho's warmth around his body. He is hugging him, holding him so tightly. "Do you feel me?" he asks, and Felix thinks to have hummed to it. "Good".

The older smiles so sweetly, and Felix wants to mirror it. He is so focused on Minho, that he now is starting to forget his initial problem. Minho is his true life, his real reason why everything will be okay. Minho knows exactly how to handle these situations, and it always surprises Felix how good he makes him feel at the end. The love of his life is lying right next to him and whispering sweet nothings.

"Can you feel my hand?" he places his hand on Felix's left side of his chest, right above his ribcage. Felix nods. "See, you're alive, it's all good. I can feel your heartbeat. Can you trust me?"

And Felix always trusts Minho, so much, that he snuggles closer and buries his face into his neck. Feeling Minho's closure is all it takes to make him feel better, to make him feel real. "You're doing so great, Lixie", is what he hears, before he drifts off to peaceful sleep.