Monochrome...{COD}

Chapter 10: This Time

Ghost POV

The studio clears out, left is two clean up people, along with myself. I look through my camera-roll, the pictures are good but something's different. Johnny's different, the photo's are fine, but that's not what I'm worried about. Between shots, John's face would change, from being attentive, to zoning off, keeping his head down.

Different, maybe it had something to do with whatever happened at his dressing room earlier. Probably that manager, Sam, all the shit I hear about him, I should've known. I caress the camera, a picture of him sits still on the screen. 

I take a breath, setting the camera down, "Price" I call out. I look over to him sitting on his phone, "Price" I say again walking over. "I understand I'm your assistant, but if I don't get at least 10 minutes, after being up since 4, I'll burn down this building myself" he says. I raise my arms, "Noted, I just wanted to let you know I'm leaving early" I say.

He turns his head, his eyebrows already furrowed "To do what?" his tone suspicious. "Just.. Going out, seeing a friend" I tell him, he sits up, squinting at me. A strange tension passes between us, my eyes shift away and back to him. "Oh Jesus Christ" he says, disappointed, "What?" I ask.

"Mr. Riley, you know what happened last time" He says, "Price, we're friends, you don't have to be professional right now" I say. "Then Simon, as your friend, don't waste your time like you did the last three months" Price argues. "He's not a waste of time" I counter, "So it is about him?" Price calls out. "It's not about him, well.. It is, but this time-" He stands from his chair.

"This time is gonna be like last time, and last time was like the time before that, and so on" Price argues. He lets out a frustrated sigh, turning away from me. "In the past two weeks, you've gotten better, physically better, you show up to work, you're smiling, you're actually doing something other than being a fucking pain."

Since Johnny first stepped into the studio, "What you're doing now is fine, don't put yourself back into a place that you'll struggle to get out of, focus" he tells me. I nod, walking away, I guess others are taking notice that I've changed. I walk through the building, giving light nods to the people I pass by.

I take out my phone, looking at John's contact, There are things John doesn't bring up to me. I don't dare bring these topics into conversation, he'll mention them once, then change. I walk to my car, a conflicted feeling in my mind. I'm trying Johnny, I.. Just don't know how to get to you.

Soap POV

I sit alone at my table, resting my head down, a cold air fills the room. Thoughts spiraling in my head, I try to subside them, but they're persistent. I got through the shoot, honestly, I don't remember it. My mind was clouded by what Sam said, those dreadful words. I couldn't count how many times he'd apologize, first time I'd ever seen him show such desperation.

2 missed calls, I'm not trying to ignore him, but it's hard to pick up. I lean back in my chair, it's been awhile, maybe I can visit her. I take a breath, standing from the table, "I really got to see someone" I say to myself. I pick up my jacket and keys, heading towards the door. I pause before grabbing the doorknob.

I feel my fingers retract themselves into the comfort of my palm, my thumb softly caress over my knuckles. God, I grab the knob, exiting my apartment. I rush down the stairs, avoiding the lot, starting to walk. The confided air of the car isn't what I need, I'll go on foot. Yeah, on foot, focus on your footsteps till you get there.

Maybe Abby was right, it has been five years, I shouldn't still be sad. I take a shaky breath, walking faster. Most things are forgotten in five years, light hearted conversations, shapes of clouds, people. Why am I different? I enter the graveyard, walking to her. It's a little past noon, so there are few, but not many, people.

They're here, to so the same thing I am. To sit, and think, and that's all that we can ever do. Unfortunately for me, I can't think. My mind is stuck, replaying that moment as if it was on a broken record. So maybe I don't think, for now, I can just stand. Her grave looks the same as the last time I saw it, slightly overgrown grass, dirt lightly covering her name.

RINGG - RINGG

I pick up my phone, "Hello?" I say, "You home?" he asks. Simon, not unusual for him to call me at this time. This question feels repetitive at a point, "Not currently" I respond coldly. The static lingers for a moment, "You ok? Where are you?" he asks. I feel the sharpness of my teeth with my tongue, lightly biting it, thinking of what to say.

"I'm..." He doesn't know, "I'll call you later" I hang up the phone. Looking back down at the grave, "Maybe thing's would've been different, if..."

Ghost POV

I lower my arm to the side, gripping my phone, steady not to hurt myself. From across the street, I watch him "Johnny.." I say under my breath. At this moment, I realized something, about John. As much as I think I know, it means almost nothing, because I'm lost. I laid next to you while we talked for hours, while you said anything, you failed to listen to the part where I said I wanted everything. No, not everything, just you. 

I get back into my car, starting it, taking a heavy breath before leaving. There are things I don't know, just like how there are things that you don't know. You make it difficult to be more, yet I'm following behind you as if I were a lost dog, hoping to be seen. I'll follow, keeping this small amount of hope buried deep inside my chest.

RINGG - RINGG

I pick up, holding it to my ear "Hello?" I say. "Simon, we have a possible date for the last shoot, along with details we need you present for while we look it over" Price says. I stop at a light, focusing on my breathing, "Simon?" Price says, a worried tone in his voice. "When?" I ask, "Tonight possibly" he says, "The shoot, Price" I clarify.

"Right, few days from now, Thursday?" he asks, "That'll work" I say. "Ok, but we'll still have to run it by-" I hang up. Thursday, three days from now, and three days closer to the end of the month. If it weren't for this, I don't think we would've seen each other at all. I've been given this opportunity, and I'm not going to waste it.

{IT'S 10:47PM RIGHT NOW SO THAT'S A SATURDAY UPLOAD!!! I'm struggling with a fucking brick of writers block being thrown through my window, so you're only getting a thousand words today. ALSO IT'S A LITTLE SHIT, I fucking pushed myself getting this out, so ignore the quality just this once. I've also been writing small shit in my notes app for a thing, soooo, :]}

{ALSO!! Happy valentines!! I'm single as shit, but I enjoy writing my beautiful gays in love{Cough}. Peace, love, and chicken hugs!! Hope you enjoyed!}