Together

127. I got you, I promise

Don't let me go
Hold me in your beating heart
I won't let go
Forever is not enough
Let me lay my head down on the shadow by your side
Don't let me go
Hold me in your beating heart
-RAIGN

John B stays with JJ and the Carreras while they wait for an update on Kie's condition. He texted the group chat and let Sarah and Pope know what was going on, and they quickly came to wait with them as well. JJ hardly acknowledged them when they showed up. He didn't return Sarah's hug or answer Pope's question on how he was doing.

He could see John B pull them to the side, using a hushed voice like he didn't want JJ to overhear. Probably talking about how insane he's been since he arrived. It's fair. He doesn't think he's ever felt this crazy either.

Sarah and Pope take a seat opposite of JJ and John B, while Mike and Anna remain in their chairs by JJ's side. Every one is either crying or fidgeting, looking at the door and praying it opens. JJ feels like he's the only person that's gone stone cold still. It's weird for him. Not good weird.

They've been waiting a while. Longer than feels comfortable, but JJ's eyes remain locked on the floor. He's afraid if he moves he won't be able to stop himself from leaping over the nurses station to find Kie himself. Waiting patiently isn't doing him much good either though.

Especially when he couldn't be distracted by anything. All he had was his thoughts and this unnerving sense of stillness. His thoughts are anything but calm though, as he replays every second of the night and all that lead up to it. It's consuming him.

John B has nudged him a few times just to do a well fair check, and he's just shaken his head, not wanting to speak. Maybe not able to. He should be happy his friends are here, and it isn't like he doesn't want them to be. Having the Pogues support was always a life line in trying times. But he's just so angry right now, he can't let them help him.

He's been acutely aware of Mike's presence the whole night. Could feel the tension and pain roll off him. If JJ weren't already soaked with it himself, it would have surely crashed over him as well.

"Why did you stop me," he breathes.

Mike, who hasn't been oblivious to JJ's intense demeanor either, rotates his head towards the blond to his right. JJ isn't looking at him, so it's hard to tell if the comment was even meant for him. He catches John B's eye over the top of JJ's head and the Routledge boy just gives him an unsure expression, not certain what to make of the comment either.

JJ repeats himself. "Why did you stop me, Mike?" He slowly shakes his head, fighting the pounding in his head while he closes his eyes, unable to focus on anything visual. "Why didn't you let me go?"

Travis shouldn't be sitting in jail, he should be in the morgue.

"JJ," Mike starts, adjusting his seat to speak more privately, even though he can see he has four other sets of teenage eyes on him. "It wouldn't have helped."

"Nah, but you can go off," JJ argues the injustice. "That's fine, just take your swing and walk away, that's the end of it right? No one else gets a turn."

On some level JJ knows it sounds like he's picking a fight on purpose. Maybe that's why Mike was being so gentle, with him. Maybe he was picking a fight. No, he definitely was. He didn't think it was without cause though.