Impossible Lovers

50

The ink on the letter paper had faded somewhat, but the handwriting was still clear. Dara's writing was graceful, tidy, and appeared calm when writing this letter:

I have finally come to this point, and surprisingly, my heart is calm. For a long time, I often felt pain, thinking that ending everything would bring relief, and indeed, I feel much lighter now. I admit that I am a weak person, and in the end, I chose to escape, but I am truly exhausted. The only thing I feel guilty about is my family. Mom, I'm sorry I didn't call you and talk to you. Like I said before, I am weak, and I didn't have the courage to make that call. I was afraid of hearing your voices, thinking about how sad you might be, and it would hurt me even more.

But I am really in pain, and I just want to end it all.

I know I might be sick, but I don't know how to cure myself. Acting used to bring me happiness, but now there is nothing that can make me happy. When I was studying, my teachers used to tell me that I was too immersed in my roles. This is both an advantage and a disadvantage. Professional actors should be able to immerse themselves in the role and also detach from it. However, I find it difficult to separate from a character. To differentiate between the role and myself, I like to meet real people after finishing a film. That way, I can be in touch with reality and feel the existence of Dara.

Mom, I haven't told you yet, but I've had a few boyfriends before. However, each time, it ended in a breakup due to work and other reasons. Nevertheless, I am grateful to them because being with them helped me find Kwon Dara again.

After filming 'Spring No More', I didn't take on any new projects for a long time because I felt that my state of mind was not good. Some of my friends knew about my situation and often invited me to go out, hoping that I could gradually detach from my roles. During one of those outings with a friend, I met a man. He was different from any of my previous boyfriends; he wasn't from the entertainment industry and could be considered average-looking. However, I was deeply drawn to him.

He exuded a strong vitality and life essence, just like how I used to be. He started doing business at a young age and traveled to many places, always sharing stories and experiences I had never heard before. While I knew that these stories might not be entirely true, they were still incredibly interesting. This surprised me because it had been a long time since I felt "interested".

After that, we started meeting frequently, and every date was enjoyable. When I wanted to take our relationship further, he honestly told me that he was already married. I don't remember what I felt at that moment, but I had a profound feeling of destiny. It seemed like I could no longer detach the character of Jin Ya from myself.

During that period, although I didn't take on any acting roles, I accepted many other jobs. I thought that keeping myself busy would prevent me from overthinking, and I even hoped that maybe after the movie was released, I would feel better. However, I have persisted until now, and my condition hasn't improved. I really don't have the strength to go on anymore. Mom, please forgive your weak child. Dara bids farewell.

When Lisa read the letter, she noticed tear stains on the paper, and she guessed they were the tears shed by her grandmother while reading the letter. She couldn't imagine how heartbroken her grandmother and the rest of the family must have been when they read this letter. The letter was more like a confession written by Dara to her family.

Her grandmother must have read the letter many times before, as there were obvious creases in several places. Lisa carefully folded the letter back along its original creases and put it back into the envelope. Grandma sat there silently, tears still flowing from her eyes.

Lisa handed her a tissue and gently wiped away the tears from her eyes, saying, "Grandma, Aunt was ill."

"I know," Grandma's voice trembled slightly, "I took her to see a doctor, but mental illnesses were hard to cure even now, let alone back then. If only we had spent more time with her, even just a little more, maybe the outcome would have been different."