Knock Knock, Bitch

Magnolia

Magnolia-

When all life has to give to you is pain, you learn to accept and get used to it. You learn that you will never be happy, you will only suffer, it's all life has to offer. Life is all just a big...curse. It's something our parents forced us into without giving us a single answer as to why they cursed us with this. They blame us for making them suffer in life, they say their life would be way better if we weren't in it, but I never understood that. How can they blame us for the mistake or accident they made?

All I did was suffer because of them, I had to raise myself. I knew I only had myself in this life, if my parents weren't loyal to me I knew no one else could be.

Magnolia. Stupid fucking flower that my grandmother named me after. She died and left me with my horrible parents, I blame her for everything. She died and made my life a living hell. She was the only person who I trusted in life, she was everything to me, she meant everything to me. There was no life without her with me, there was no oxygen on earth without her beside me.

There was only pain, depression, brokenness.

All my life I've been hurt and abused, taken for everything I had like I was nothing. My life was in danger every waken moment. I hated it.
I had no help, no money, I could hardly invest in college because I was poor.

Yes, I was poor, but not my parents.

My father was very wealthy, working for the Italian mafia offered its many blessings. But then it offered its curses.

My parents are rich while I struggle to find food, because I am not worthy enough to live under their roof. I am not worthy enough to eat from their home.

My home was in their backyard and I pay them one hundred dollars a month to stay here. If I didn't have it I had to...do things I am not proud of to get it. I've done a lot of things that I am not proud of to get money.

Stripping, handjobs, blowjobs...sometimes I would have to hold old men and women while they slept. I would get hundreds, even thousands of dollars for that.

It was rare to get that much though.

I've done it five times, only when my job wasn't paying enough.

I use to attend schooling for college, it was always the quicker I graduate, the quicker I get the hell away from here. That changed when I had to drop out, the only reason I made it to collage was by threats. My GPA was very low.

Not because I wasn't smart, but because I never attended school much.

My parents are part of the mafia so if they had trips I would watch the cats and dogs for them. No matter if I had only been in class for five minutes, I will be checked out and forced to stay in their home alone. It's the only time I'm allowed in their home.

Since I could remember they used to leave me home alone. They would check me out from kindergarten and leave me with their pets for weeks, a full month one time. They would leave twenty dollars for me to survive on, I never knew what I needed to do. I would just starve or eat the dog or cat food. It wasn't the best but it worked.

I got the stomach bug when I was six from eating too much dog and cat food, I was beat.  CPS was alerted and every time they came to the house I would be there alone. They would feel bad and stay with me, but they weren't bold enough to take me away from my parents. They knew they would die immediately if they tried it.

The American Mafia and Italian mafias are allies, they own the police department, the government, everything! Nothing can slip pass them.

Nothing.

I still watch my parents animals at the age of twenty, I spent my birthday in this tiny home in the back. There was only one room, one toilet in the corner of the room, an inflatable tub, a bed, and a desk. I had old sheets my parents threw out in their garbage. They would usually burn the things they throw out so I wouldn't get it.

One time they threw a party and had so much extra food, they looked at me and burned it in my face so I wouldn't eat. I hadn't ate in a week in a half that day. Only collect rainwater in a dirty cup. Before the stripping and before the little shed I live in, I used to live in this dog cage. It was pretty spacious, I could stand and hunch over. My parents would throw bones and old food at me and laugh. Their friends would laugh.

Luckily, I strip now for extra cash, but I can only do it on Tuesdays, which is horrible. Every other day my father's friends and him are there. My father isn't loyal to my mother, he cheats on her any chance he gets, she's not loyal to him either. I watch in their window and see how desperate she is for him at times. She begs for the slightest attention, yet he ignores her.

When he isn't at the strip club I hear him yelling in his room alone. I have no televisión so I watch them. I've watched them since I was five, living in a dog cage on their porch, I would get out and look in the windows. I would watch them argue and watch him beat or assault her.

When I was seven, I used the ladder a man was using to paint the house to spy in their window.

I wish I hadn't.

It was the first time I encountered sex, I was scared.

Mentioning of Rape ⚠️

I watched my mother be so intoxicated from drinking and arguing with my father. He raped her and I watched the entire thing, I went and told my teacher everything the next day. I told her that my mom was in pain.

I was given the worst beaten ever for that.

By my mother and father.

My mother cried and punched and beat me, my father stripped me naked and whipped my body badly with his belt.

I had two broken legs, a dislocated arm, and bruising in my face. My nose had to be popped back in place.

My parents worried about the scarring and I was forced to have cosmetic surgery to fix the scar on my brow. I still have a scar, they couldn't really fix it, I still have a scar on my ear. My father ripped my earrings out and sewed it back together as I screamed. He only laughed and locked me in the basement for a month.

So yes, life has never been good to me.

Fuck life.

Thank you for reading the first chapter of "Knock Knock, Bitch" I hope you enjoyed.

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