All That Glitters

Like Ghosts

Tw: basically describing a panic attack

"John B?" JJ's voice was thick with concern.

Practically everyone flew from their seats. Including Topper. Who held the same worry between the lines of his face.

JJ dropped to his knees facing John B, pulling his head with his hands up to meet his eyes. "Bree, what's wrong?" His brow knitted. Sweat beaded against John B's forehead.

As if he hadn't realized who was in front of him, John B sprung from the ground. Knocking JJ over in the process. Pummeling about the Chateau, muttering things under his breath with the flare of wild frustration driving him towards where he needed to go. He only stopped when he blinked his tears away.

It was the first time he'd blinked in the Chateau since arriving.

Immediately he wished it would be the last.

The first thing he noticed when his eyes closed was the bombardment of information that just appeared in the split second of darkness behind his eyelids.

It was like words.

Like screams.

Hell, even like ghosts.

And he couldn't sort through any of it. His mind was racing with so many questions and some of the words kept growing behind his eyelids. Taking over his vision. Showing him images of the past that he lived.

Stuff he'd witnessed with his father. The Chateau held so many memories it was making his eyes water.

He let them because maybe it would wash all the words away. All the ghosts of a past he couldn't go back to.

His head was pounding with that familiar ache that he'd felt when he was underwater earlier. Swimming back to shore. He didn't realize he hadn't opened his eyes until someone grasped his head between their hands. Lightly shaking him.

John B took in a shuddered breath. A final flash of his father staring back at him like before with the compass. Mouthing Redfield again like it would be the answer to everything.

"John B! Get a grip! What the fuck is going on?" Kie shouted. Her lip trembled slightly.

He didn't have a straight answer yet. Not a clue at how to spill everything he'd just learned. He just had to find the strength to relax.

"Ward—" he bit out. God, and that was just it wasn't it? "— my dad." He heaved. A part of him was unsure if he could even reveal the awful truth he'd been forced to know a few hours before. "I can't—"

"Yo, what?" Kie sounded horrified. Looking to Pope for some insight. When it fucking hit her. "Yo, what?!"

"Ward did what?" Topper said while helping Pope with JJ who still couldn't really move very well considering. He kept swatting at their hands and wincing which only made Pope want to help him more.

"John B? Please tell me you're not fucking living in the same house as your dad's murderer ." Kie's voice shook with every syllable. She crashed her arms back around his neck. Bringing his face to her chest. "Holy shit."

His eyes were already damp with tears.

But now they just wouldn't stop.

Kie pressed her hands against the side of his face. Gently trying to get him to loosen up. His jaw, more importantly, his neck was tensing up more than she'd ever seen. "John B, breathe. Jesus."

How was he gonna tell her that as much as he wanted to breathe normally, he didn't have the willpower to. Not right now.

Ward had killed his dad.

Ward. Sarah's father.

And if he didn't kill him, he basically admitted to being the reason why he disappeared.

" Ward did what ?" JJ's voice was cold and sharp like a dagger. There was no way he had heard John B correctly. His hearing must've gone blank again.

But Kie turned up to him with her arms wrapped around John B's trembling, sobbing body with nothing but sorrow and matching rage burning in her eyes. "JJ." She practically whispered at that point. As if confirming his fear.

"Ward— Ward killed Big John ?" Holding on to the last sliver of hope that he was just going deaf. Finding no evidence to support it when he could hear John B whimpering softly into Kie's chest. "Oh... oh fuck no. No. He's not fucking getting away with that shit. For nine months. "

"Wait, guys, I know Ward. There's no way." Topper said. Disbelief ringing in his brain. "There's no way." He asked himself why would John B lie this convincingly about something like that if it wasn't true. Pogues lied sure. "You're kidding." His face grew wide. He shoved his hand in front of his mouth to stop himself from vomiting.

"I'm gonna kill him." JJ gritted his teeth. Placing a hand on John B's shoulder. Before fully engulfing his best friend in a hug.

See, John B was used to JJ's embraces. Being on the other end of them for damn near a decade. They were rough at first because JJ couldn't help himself when it came to hugging his homies. They were always, always softer and fuller after the initial impact. So that they wouldn't fall over.

With all the words and images of the Chateau pushing against his eyelids, he wasn't the keenest on JJ suddenly forcing himself into those images and words. Stuff he definitely did not want to see.

Stuff he was sure JJ had probably blocked out from his memory because why would he want to remember it. Much less relive it.

John B let out a bloodcurdling cry as JJ squeezed him tighter. Sobbing further into Kie's chest. Feeling her trying to ground him with her hair play and breathing exercises.

But god. Images of JJ bloodied and crying wouldn't leave his head.

" Help me." He whimpered in between sobs. His chest wouldn't expand far enough for it to be much louder than that of a whisper.