Wolfstar oneshots

Patronus

Word Count: 660

Remus was the only one in his class that couldn't cast a patronus, he could form a vague mist to repel one dementor as long as it was weak enough and not on the attack, but he couldn't seem to get anything more than that. 

The rest of the marauders' patronus' mimicked their animagus form, with Sirius' being a large shaggy looking dog, James' being a stag, and Peter's being a little rat which would skitter around between the legs of the other two animals. 

Remus watched on as his three best friends smiled proudly at the misty blue creatures frolicking together, he had been trying hard, and everyone knew he was a talented wizard, but he just couldn't seem to get any more than some wispy blue flecks. Sirius took note of the disappointed expression on Remus' face and walked over to him, clasping his hand. 

"Hey, you'll get it eventually honey." Sirius spoke softly, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. 

"I don't know that I will pads, I think perhaps that I simply don't have enough happy memories." Remus sighed, and Sirius' brows furrowed but he didn't speak. After a moment the patronus' from the other boys vanished and their professor allowed the class to leave, Remus darted out of the classroom quickly, and headed directly for his dormitory. James and Peter both looked to Sirius for an answer as to why Remus had left so quickly and seemingly in a bad mood but Sirius just shook his head, non-verbally telling them he didn't want to talk about it. 

Remus arrived in the dorm and threw himself on his bed, closing the privacy curtains and hoping his friends would just leave him, however within a couple of minutes he heard someone shuffle into the room and approach his bed. 

"Rem?" Sirius spoke quietly from the other side of the curtain. 

"What?" Remus replied, trying not to be snappy but feeling so defeated that it was all he could muster. 

"Can I come in?" Sirius asked again, Remus made a small noise which somewhat resembled the words 'suppose so' and Sirius moved the curtain, climbing on to the bed. 

"How come this has got you so stumped? You've struggled with spells before, but you always get there." Sirius reassured him but Remus only shook his head. 

"This is different. This isn't just me struggling with a spell, I..." Remus began to speak but he couldn't seem to find the right words. 

"Is this about what you said before? You don't think you have enough happy memories?" Sirius asked. 

"Yeah... I mean all my happy memories are with you or with the guys, but they don't seem to be strong enough to do anything. I just don't think I've got any memory happy or strong enough to make it work." Remus sighed. 

"Look, even if you can never do it, that doesn't mean you're a bad wizard." Sirius said gently, taking hold of Remus' hand and giving it a supportive squeeze. 

"I know that logically, but it doesn't make me feel like any less of a failure." Remus sighed, looking downward as to not meet Sirius' eyes. 

After months of work he finally did manage to produce a full patronus, at first he was filled with nothing but joy as the blue swirling mist began to form a shape, but almost immediately he recoiled in horror. It was a wolf, not a werewolf like him, just a regular one, nevertheless he felt his insides twist as he considered what this meant. 

He never told anyone, not even Sirius, he kept it a secret just for him, only ever producing a shapeless blue shield so that no one would ever have to know the truth about his patronus. After everything, it just seemed the universe was taunting him, always desperate to remind him of what he was. 

He wished he never learned to cast it in the first place.