This morning, I faced those eyes,
Don't know which curse they wanted to bring on.
Saw all your differences again in the evening,
All along pretended it doesn't hurt,
But don't know why this brain repeats all that again.
Though I wasn't afraid—I had been brave,
But fear was engraved within since I was a child.
Saw that raised hand, age hit hard,
Maybe it's all inside the head,
Maybe it's all a sign of weakness.
But the thoughts had me dying,
Regret the moment I shared the pang,
Cause all that's left inside is trusting as sin.
Sometimes I want to question the process,
Then my mind clings to the optimistic side.
Then why won't that optimism kill it?
Why doesn't this pain end?
Why does the fear of losing one,
Of taking all the blame, keep haunting me?
Why did I never escape the pattern of scapegoat?
Oh, maybe it's me who's been wrong,
Maybe it's me who shouldn't have let them in,
Who shouldn't have trusted.
But wasn't I just a kid, craving love and warmth?
Suddenly, those nights return haunting—
Me trembling alone, the child who couldn't complain,
The obedient child, bound to act a certain way.
Give me back my childhood, and I'll forgive you.
Erase these insecurities, and I'll forgive you.
Stop creating new wounds every day,
And maybe, just maybe, I'll forgive you.
But you can't do it, can you?
Then how can I, after all these years?
You made me live in this dorm forever,
So how can I let it go—even if I want to,
Just to break these patterns of darkness in this dorm.
YOU ARE READING
The Mad People's Dorm
Poetry"Mad People's Dorm" is a heartfelt collection of poetry that takes you deep into the emotions and thoughts of someone battling anxiety, betrayal, and inner turmoil. Each poem is a window into a mind that has faced darkness and is striving to find li...
