Paradise of delusion

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I am in strange Paradise of delusion and reality,
To week to take any step further,
To afraid to try to find an escape,
If I will try to take a step further,
It all will come flooding frustatingly,
If I will try to find an escape,
My mind will blame me,
Cause the short time escape,
Cannot save me from what lays ahead,
Is it my delusion or reality?
Though it feels like,
Add this moment I am in light,
But I have found my own darkness,
The darkness, insecurities and all my delusional are scary,
Still I have to face them,
To keep moving forward,
Cause if I wouldn't give it a try,
I would remain in this pain forever,
And I don't want to stay like this,
So I am sitting here writing and asking what to do?
Even if there is no right choice,
Even if there's just a choice.

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