Echoes Of War

51

Alone with Killian in my bedroom, my heart is still racing from the intensity of my outburst. "I-I dunno why I did that...." the weight of my emotions pressing down on me like a suffocating blanket. My voice trembles as I admit my vulnerability, "It's like I'm not in control of myself, as if anything can just cause me to act in such way. I dunno what's wrong with me....I scared." The fear of my own power consuming me once again.

"It's not your fault, she knew that you're still healing-" Killian tries to reassure me, his voice a steady anchor almost the storm of my emotions. "That's no excuse, I am the Queen of Thundar but yet I keep losing control over and over again." I couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that's eating me alive.

As tears stream down my face, I buried my head in my hands, ashamed of feeling like this and of what happened. The weight of my self condemnation crushing my spirit. "I'm a monster." I sobbed, the words catching I my throat like shards of glass.

Killian's arms enveloped me, a protective shield against the darkness threatening to consume me. He holds me close, his warmth seeping into my bonds as he whispers words of comfort. "You're not a monster, Kel'enas," he murmurs, his voice a gentle caress against my skin. "You're one of the strongest woman I know, you're also compassionate and loyal to those you care for, don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

But I couldn't shake the nagging doubt that lingers in the depths of my soul. "Then why do I feel like this?" I whispered, my voice barely above a whisper. "Why can't I control my anger? My emotions?"

Killian's embrace tightens, his silent support a beacon of hope in the darkness that I am stuck in. He may not have the answers I seek but in his arms, I find peace and comfort.

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After I was done crying my eyes out to Killian, I wanted to be alone but he refused to leave me alone, and laid on the bed with me.

It felt nice to feel his heart beat near me. It's been a while since it was just the two of us.

As we continue to lay there, a knock broke the silence, "Kel'enas it's me." Serana voice rang on the other side of the door.
My heart races as I opened the door, and saw Xander and Serana. Their unexpected presence sending a ripple of confusion through my mind.

As both of them finally stepped into the room, Xander's gaze falls upon Killian, and I can sense the tension thickening the air as they continue to stare at each other. But Xander remains silent, his focus shifting to me as he approaches.

Instinctively, I backed away, a tremor of fear coursing through my veins. Sensing my unease, Killian moved to stand between us, a silent sentinel ready to defend me at a moment's notice. My brow furrows in confusion, "Why are you guys here?" I asked both of them with my arms crossed with Killian by my side.
General Serana steps forward, her expression a mix of concern and determination. "I wanted to check on you, seeing you like that pissed me off. And plus I was almost close to strangling Master." She explains, her voice soft but firm, as a smile formed on my face. "How are you holding up? I can try to use Thundar to check and see if anything is broken."

Xander chimes in, his voice tinged with regret. "And I came along because.....well I wasn't sure how you'd react if I came alone." He admits his gaze flicking to my face. "I wanted to formally apologize to you Kel. I never meant to hurt you."

My lips curled into a small smile that didn't reach my eyes. "Apologies won't change anything," I retort, my voice laced with pain. "But perhaps you can help me figure out a way to stop the spasming from happening to much?"

As Serana helps me onto the bed and begins to healing magic.

Xander nods solemnly, his eyes locking with mine. "That's actually why I wanted to you about," He admits his voice barely a whisper. "When we were fighting, I had noticed something in your mind."

My breath catches in my throat, and I feel a cold sweat forming on my brow. What does he mean by that?