When Will It Be My Turn?

chapter 14

I didn't see Azari anywhere in the house and I need to go already since in an hour nandito na si kuya sa Pilipinas. So I badly needed to borrow her car. Sinilip ko na siya sa kwarto niya even in the bathroom, but she's not there, she's not in the living room, she's not in the kitchen, and even the food I cooked earlier hindi pa nagagalaw.

I can't find her anywhere.

and as I was about to give up and was just about to an call Uber, I saw in the garage na nandun pa yung kotse niya, meaning hindi siya umalis ng bahay. nabuhayan naman ako at sinilip ang lalagyanan ng keys sa garahe, and there I found it. I found the key of her car.

Binuksan ko ito at napag desisyonan na icchat ko nalang si Azari na hiniram ko ang sasakyan niya. pagkatapos ko ito maisend sakanya ay binuksan ko na ang makina at nagsimula na lumabas ng garage, pero bago pa man ako makaalis ng tuluyan.

I saw Azari talking to someone, I can't see that someone's face dahil nakatalikod ito sa kinaroroonan ko at mukha lang ni Azari ang nakikita ko. But I can see her tearing up, she looks so happy. She hugged that person and was saying things I couldn't hear but I can see that she's afraid to let that someone go.

Kumalas siya sa pagkakayakap at hinarap ang babaeng kausap niya, and then suddenly, it's like everything stopped, and the only thing I could hear was my heart beating so loud. It's like everything was in a slow motion, She kissed the girl and I saw that girl's face.

It was her.

Olivia.

Parang pinaglalaruan ako ng tadhana, just why? why is she here? why now? kailan pa siya bumalik? are they back together? babalik na ba siya? did I fucked up again?

ang dami, ang daming tanong na gumagala sa isipan ko, pero wala akong makuhang sagot, ang sakit. ang sakit sakit.

it hurts so freaking bad.

It's like destiny is reminding me that I will never be her, that even if I give everything, even if I sacrifice everything I'm just a homewrecker in her eyes.

Pinunasan ko ang mga luha na ayaw tumigil sa pagtulo, bumaba ako ng sasakyan at bumalik sa loob ng bahay.

-----

*ring ring*

*clank*

"Hey, you called, what's upp?"

"I- Isabel.."

"Celine? hey, why are you crying?" she asked worriedly. she sounds like she just woke up.

"i- did I d-isturb your sleep?"

"Hey no, you didn't disturb anything." she said softly, assuring me.

I sniffles.

"Celine? hey darling, what's wrong?"

fuck, I just remembered she's out of the country right now, who am I gonna run to?

"C-can I ask you a f-favour?" I hesitantly said. why am I always bothering her?

- because other than her, you have no one to run to.

"Anything, you can ask me anything."

"Can you send someone at the airport to fetch my brother? also t-tell him, I'll see him in a few days, i- I just can't go right now."

Isabel didn't speak for a moment, but a few seconds later, I heard her take a breath.

"Sure, is that all, little one?"

"Y-yes.."

seems like she noticed that I don't want to talk about it that's why she didn't ask more, and I'm glad she didn't.

"Hey." she called.

"m-hmm?"

"The key to the cabin is under the carpet at the front door. just, just check it there, I'll go back as soon as I can." She said as she ended the call after saying that.

I didn't know what to say nor what to react. she's helping me even tho she's not here, it's like she can read me, she knows what I need even if I don't tell her.

I heard a message tone, indicating someone messaged me.

and there I saw her message.

----

your bel 🔔

09986478081

this is Manong Ben's phone number, call him if you need a ride.

I'll be back asap, wait for me there. - bel

you don't have to do all of this..

you already helped me a lot.

you owe me a drink

call me if you need anything, Celine. 🔔🫶U

-----

I received a message from Manong Ben saying he's already here. I texted him back saying na pababa na 'ko at hindi nakalimutang magpasalamat. I called him an hour ago after namin mag usap ni Isabel. I'm really glad that I don't have to call an Uber dahil I don't think kaya ko manatiling gising buong byahe. I feel so tired.

Bumaba na 'ko dala dala ang mga gamit na inimpake ko. This could last for like 3 days. Wala rin akong plano magtagal sa cabin ni Isabel dahil nandito rin si kuya sa pilipinas. Sooner or later alam kong hahanapin niya na 'ko and I don't want him finding out about what had happened to me habang nasa ibang bansa siya. That's the last thing I want him to know. 

"Where are you going?" Azari asked, napatigil ako sa paglalakad papuntang pinto at napatingin sa direksyon niya.

She's in the kitchen with her. 

Nang magtama ang mata namin, ngumiti siya at bumati.

"Hello Celine, it's been long" She looked at me straight in the eye and smiled. hindi ko alam kung totoo ba ang ngiti niya or hindi. Ang hirap basahin.

I smiled back but it didn't reach my eyes, tinignan ko si Azari at sinagot ang tanong niya.

"My brother came back from abroad, I'll be with him for a few days."

"Kuya Limmuel?" She asked.

"Yes"

"Why do you need to go if uuwi lang naman siya? you can still stay here and meet with hi-" Nanatili ang tingin ko sakanya at balak sanang itanong kung ayaw ba niya 'ko umalis pero nagsalita si Olivia.

Hinawakan niya ang braso ni Azari at ngumiti ng para bang nang-aakit.

"Just let her, Zari. Minsan lang niya makita ang kuya niya, right?" Tinignan ako nito at ngumiti, and I don't know why but I feel uneasy sa mga tinginan at ngiti niya sa'kin. 

"I'll go now." Hindi na ako sumagot at nagpatuloy maglakad palabas ng pinto, I heard Azari calling me pero hindi na ako muling lumingon.

Paglabas ng bahay bumungad sa'kin si Manong Ben at sinabing sumakay na ako, nginitian ko ito nang pagbuksan niya 'ko ng pinto at ngumiti rin siya pabalik. Wala na siyang sinabi nang makita ako at para bang nakuha niya ang senyas na ayoko muna makipag usap kaya wala na siyang sinabi pa at pinaandar nalang ang kotse.