When Will It Be My Turn?

chapter 22

Azari's POV

"Azari, calm down. She'll be fine." Pag-aalo sa'kin ni Felix nang hindi ako mapakali at naglalakad ng pabalik balik sa harapan niya.

"How can I calm down? You didn't see what I saw, Felix!" I raised my voice at him but realized what I did and apologized. "I-I'm sorry, I just really don't know anymore." I stated as I sat down and grabbed my hair and curses lots of time.

"It's okay, I understand. But bro, calm down a little." He patted my shoulders and kept saying assuring words to me.

"Where is she?" "Where's my daughter?" "Where's my sister?" I heard some familiar voices at the distance. napatanggal ang pagkakasapo ko sa mukha ko nang makita ang magulang at kapatid ni Celine papunta sa'min.

May kasama silang nurse sa gilid. Bigla naman napunta sa'kin ang tingin ng kuya ni Celine at hinawakan ang kwelyo ng jacket na suot suot ko ngayon.

This is Felix's jacket isinuot niya ito sa'kin nang makitang sports bra lang ang suot suot ko nang dalhin ko sa hospital si Celine.

"What did you do to my sister? You're her wife, right? So what happened to her? Naggagalaiti nitong sambit sa'kin habang hawak hawak ang kwelyo ko.

I didn't answer, I just looked at him.

"Tangina." He curses at binitawan ang kwelyo ng damit ko.

Nakuha lahat ang atensyon namin nang lumabas ang isang doctor galing sa emergency room.

"Is she okay?" Agad agad kong tanong sa doctor.

"Are you Mrs Fuentes's relative?" The doctor asked.

"I'm her wife."

"I'm her brother." napatingin naman ako sa kuya ni Celine na ngayon ay nasa gilid ko kasama ang mga magulang nila na hindi nagsasalita at walang kung anong emosyon sa mga mukha nila.

How fucked up that is?

"She's in a coma, it might take a few days or weeks bago siya magising. She lost too much blood. It's good na nadala niyo siya agad dito sa hospital, a few minutes late and we'd lose her. She needs a blood donor immediately, AB blood typ-"

"Get mine, we have the same blood type" Sambit ng kuya niya at hindi na pinatapos ang sasabihin ng doctor.

Tumango ang doctor at pareho na silang pumasok sa loob. I was shocked about what I heard. I almost lose her, if I was late just a few more minutes I will lose her. She tried killing herself, is that how much she hates being alive?

"I will make you regret being alive." "You will suffer, Celine." "I will make your life a living hell."

All the things I said before came back to me. It happened. She did regret it, she even tried to end it. Why am I not happy? Why does it hurt so much? She ruined my life, she stole my life from me so why do I care to her?

I don't know what's going on with me these past few days, I feel like I'm not myself anymore. I kept feeling things I shouldn't, it looks like I'm starting to eat everything I said and I just, I don't know everything is messed up.

What's happening? why am feeling this? why do I care? what's wrong with me?

Napahinto ako sa pag iisip ng biglang may humawak sa kwelyo ko.

Kanina pa hindi matapos tapos ang paghahawak nila sa kwelyo ko.

"Where the hell is she?" The girl asked, I looked at her blankly and didn't answer.

How did she know we were here? And how did she know what happened?

"Where were you when she done it, huh?" Singhal nito at inulak tulak ang dibdib ko.

"Where were you?" Pag uulit nito.

I was stunned, I don't know what to say. Nasaan nga ba ako? Right, I was busy figuring out what really happened that night, looking for evidences.

And I didn't get to go home early because I had a dinner with Olivia.

"Can you back off, Gauthier? It's none of your business." Tinanggal ko ang pagkakawasak niya sa kwelyo ko at marahan itong itinulak.

"Free her, she don't deserve you." She said, that caught my attention. Does she know?

"What do you know?" I looked at her in the eye and examined her.

"More than enough to say this to you, leave her alone." Madiing turan nito at naglakad papunta sa pintuan ng emergency room.

Hindi ako nanlaban at nagsimulang maglakad palabas ng hospital.

Am I still me? What the hell is happening, why do I feel this?

Is it really better to just leave her alone? But she ruined my life, but did she really?

All those questions won't leave my mind, ni ayaw na ako nitong patulugin, naguguluhan ang isip ko para bang hindi ako makapag isip ng maayos. Ni hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili kong nararamdaman.

At ni hindi ko na nga namalayan na tatlong araw na nga ang nakakalipas simula nang isugod ko sa hospital si Isabel pero hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin ito nagigising. The doctor said that it's most likely because she doesn't want to wake up anymore. At para bang sinasaksak ang puso ko. It stings, and it confuses me. Because this is supposed to make me happy, this is supposed to make me satisfied but why do I feel the opposite of it? Why am I hurting?

Hands in my head as I can't help but be frustrated, I can't even sleep, I'm thinking na baka magising siya any minute now, gusto ko na ako ang unang makikita niya kapag nagising siya. Pero ikaw ba ang gusto niyang makita kapag nagising siya?

Hindi ko na pinansin ang pumasok sa isip ko at patuloy naghintay sa labas at hinihintay ang sasabihin ng doctor. Hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog pala ako sa upuan nang bigla nalang akong gisingin ng isang nurse.

"Mrs Fuentes's wife?" Tanong nito.

"Yeah?" I rubbed my eyes a little trying to make myself awake.

"She's awake."