When Will It Be My Turn?

chapter 26

It's been two weeks now, and all I can say is everything is getting a little better.

Celine is now back to her feet, socializing and even hanging out with us. there's still sometimes where she will just stop talking and be quiet all afternoon but I really understand so I'm just giving her some space everytime.

Isabel also visited just a while ago, she said she will be back again, and she just needs to sort out some things in her company. She really just came here just to say that when she could've just texted us that. She's weird.

But I can say we became okay to each other a little. As for her brother he still kinda hates me and I don't know why, It's not like I did something bad or anything.

And now, here we are in the living room arguing.

"She's gonna stay with me starting from now." Her brother keeps insisting it.

He said na mas magiging okay si Celine kung siya ang makakasama nito at balak niyang umalis ng bansa for pete sake. It's just another way of saying that he's gonna take away my wife from me.

My wife? Since when did I consider Celine being my wife?

Fuck this! but i'm not gonna let anyone take her.

"She is my wife, Limmuel. Can you stop minding other people's business?" I groaned, a little annoyed to his actions.

"Your wife? Stop pretending already, Azari. I know na that marriage you two have is a contract not a real one. Hindi kayo kasal dahil mahal niyo ang isa't-isa." His words cut deep in my chest.

He's right, but why do I feel so upset about this? Why does it hurt being reminded to na our marriage isn't something that's been made by love and willingness?

"Either way she is my wife, you're just her brother so fuck off." I don't know why but this person is really hitting my limits.

"What's happening here?" Celine asked with her morning voice, she stretched her arms out and yawn as she walk down stairs.

"Nothing, princess." Her kuya gave her a hug as he gave me a knowing look.

We both know not to give Celine any stress or something like a bad energy. We don't want her to think na pinag-aawayan namin siya.

That's clearly not what she needed right now.

Her eyes turned to me and she smiled a little.

Over the past two weeks with her, we became close again, just like before.

Nag uusap na kami, magkasabay kumain, at minsan sinasamahan niya 'ko manood ng tv sa living room. I'm still giving her some space tho because I know how much she needs it at the moment.

Everything is like back again to normal, like that night didn't happen. But I won't lie that's not totally it, there are times na it randomly hit us and we just became distant and you know a little awkward.

But it's a lot better than 6 months ago. Unlike before ngayon nakakapag-usap na kami.

Naglakad ako papuntang kusina at nagsimula ng ihain yung mga pagkain na inorder ko, I tried cooking earlier but obviously I failed.

I moved the plate closer to her that has carbonata with crispy bacon bits at the top, I also made her some chocolate drink that technically the only thing that I can make. I know na it's not really a good match to eat it together, I agree but then she's weird.

I remember her telling me that's her favourite meal back  in our college years. I remember her dancing lighty as she drink her chocolate drink after taking a bite to her carbonara.

It's honestly so weird but cute at the same time.

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                                     FLASHBACK

"She's gonna melt if you keep looking at her like that, Azari." Dianne said playfully that made me rolled my eyes at her.

"Stop being dramatic, I'm not even looking at her for so long." I defended, turning my head away from the woman I've been looking at for quite some time now.

"Oh yeah? you've been staring at her for like 5 minutes while she's eating like a kid." She chuckled as we watched the girl eat infront of us.

We're now at Dianne's house, we decided na mag-sleep over sakanila after our hella week of exam.

And I made us some hot chocolate while Dianne cooked the carbonara for our breakfast and this girl right here is dancing happily in between her bites.

"Mhm fuck, this is really taste good" She moaned lightly.

Making me turned my head away again. Fuck why do I keep feeling this.

"You're exaggerating it too much, Celi. It's not even a perfect combination." Drake stated, laughing at the girl next to her.

"You got that right, Azari's chocolate drink doesn't even taste good. It's so bland" Kio added, shaking his head.

I glared at him making him and our friends laugh more. Celine gulp her food down as she shake her head disapprovingly.

"I beg to disagree, her chocolate drink taste so good than all the chocolate drink I ever tasted. I'd actually pay for this." She says as she took a zip and then flash a satisfied smile to her cheeks.

And I don't know it make me feel happy to know she likes it, I don't even care if they don't like, her liking it is enough for me.

"Kinikilig ka 'no?" Dianne nudged me over and raising her eyebrows playfully.

I pushed her lightly, and shake my head towards her as I stood up and made my way in the living room.

I can hear all of them arguing about my chocolate drink and Celine defending it saying na masarap nga raw.

Dianne gave me a knowing look as she knows why I left the kitchen.

Me and Celine known each other for like 3 years now, and I don't know I feel like I'm starting to like her. I can't get myself to admit it because I really value our friendship and also I don't think I'm well worth it for being her partner.

I fuck up alot and I don't think she wants someone who is so fucked up like me, a freak and a weirdo.

I tried distracting myself by entering relationships with different people even fucking with some, but I don't know I want her. I really do.

I already thought of confessing to her but then I really feel scared na matakot ko siya at lumayo siya sa'kin, I don't want any of that. I don't think I can lose a good friend like her.

Dianne is the only one who knows na I have some feelings for Celine. I don't want to tell Kio and Drake because I know how bigmouthed they are.

And I don't know, I don't think darating ang oras na  aamin ako sakanya. It's just a simple admiration too. I think I'm just feeling this because I have some attachment issues. I also don't think I will really end up liking or even loving her.

Someone like me is not capable to love.