When Will It Be My Turn?

chapter 31

Celine's POV

I walked down the stairs as I stretched my arms out, slightly yawning at the process.

I had a great night.

I remember how Azari kept playing with my hair as I fell asleep in her arms. I don't know kung gaano katagal na 'kong tulog pero naalipungatan ako. We're still cuddling here in the living, her arms wrap around me and my head in her chest. I moved a little looking up at her and I see her sleeping peacefully under me.

How can she manage to be this beautiful?

I decided to wake her up when I feel like I've been staring at her for so long now. I love how she scrunched her nose lightly as she keeps sleeping.

"Hey, let's go to our room." I shaked her softly, she moans a little shaking her head no, saying another five minutes as she pulled me close to her and hugged me tight.

I smiled at the girl and just let her. I didn't realize I fell asleep again not til I found myself in my own room. I figured she carried me here last night. I can't help but smile at the thought of her being so close to me.

Stop fooling yourself, you always let you heart decide. Do you wanna get hurt again?

I shaked my head not wanting my mind to ruin things for me. I just don't give a damn right now. Maybe, just maybe.

Maybe this time it will be different. It won't hurt to let myself get lost in this.

My eyes started looking for the person I've been wanting to see ever since I woke up. Not far enough, I smelled something delicious coming out from the kitchen.

Pancakes?

My feet brings me there, seeing the woman I've been looking for cooking. She's wearing an apron, her hair is in a messy bun. I looked around and I can't help but shake my head disapprovingly when I saw how messy the kitchen is.

Counter, chairs, floor, her apron even her own face has flours in them. She looks cute.

She might've noticed my presence because she turned to my direction and flashed me a cheekily and shy smile and scratch the back of her head lightly.

"I was gonna make some cookie yet I kinda messed it up, so here's a pancake instead." She explained, still smiling cheekily. Handing me the plate of pancake with some honey and butter on top

"Why didn't you wake me up? I could've helped you." I said taking the plate, mumbling a small thank you as I took a bite of the pancake. I mhmmd as I tasted it. It's impressively so good.

"That good?" She asked amusedly and I just nodded my head, still chewing the pancake.

We both looked at each other when we heard someone entered the house.

"Are we expecting any visitors today?" I asked, wiping my lips with a tissue.

"No, I don't think so. But knowing Isabel, I guess she woke up early to bother us." She shrugged her shoulders and continued wiping the counter, cleaning all her mess.

I offered to help her but she refused, saying I should finish the food she cooked for me. I didn't fight her about it, I really love the pancakes.

"Azari?" I heard someone called. I know that voice. Why is she here?

I looked at Azari and she's just shocked and confused as I am.

"What are you doing here?" Azari asked the girl who just made her presence known infront of us.

She looked at the girl boringly, like she don't want to waste her time talking to the woman. Which surprised me.

Why is she acting this way? She loves Olivia.

"Oh come on, don't you want me here?" The girl asked as she made her way to Azari and gave her a peck in her cheeks.

"We already talked about this, Olivia. I'm not playing with you." Azari stated sternly. She looked at the girl with plain look as she pushed her away and put some space between them.

"I didn't came here for that, I just wanna know how you're doing." Said the girl as she smiled innocently.

I just stayed there, quiet. I feel so uneasy.

Just what the fuck is going on right now?

"I'm fine, now can you leave?" She looked at the girl annoyed. Olivia just smirked as she left us alone without saying anything.

How weird is that?

"What happened?" I asked, not being able to resist myself. Minutes had passed that none of us tried to say something and I just feel like I have to cut it so I did. I kinda regret it tho. especially she didn't answer me that fast.

"She and I talked before, what we had is done." She said almost like a whisper. avoiding my gaze.

what why?

A lot of questions starts lingering into my mind, just what the hell is happening?

"Even if our marriage isn't real, I won't cheat on you even if it's with someone I truly love." She looked directly in my eyes, and I know that she meant everything she said.

I found myself not knowing what to feel, should I be happy to know she consider me her wife because she thinks being with someone she truly loves will be considered as her cheating to me or should I feel defeated because I just been reminded again that I'm not the she loves?

I looked down at my lap, not gonna be able to handle looking at her eyes right now. I'm afraid I will end up tearing up. My mind and heart is fighting right now and I just don't know who to listen to.

Anong mas papairalin ko, isip o ang puso?

"Just looking at her feels like I'm cheating on you." I hear her say as I kept fidgeting with my fingers.

"But I saw you kiss her, you even cried, you were so happy to see her." I blurted out, I looked at her and she seems shocked about what I said.

It didn't take long and she composed her self, taking a deep breathe as she spoke again.

"I am indeed happy when I saw her, I've been looking for her for so long but kissed her? I didn't kissed her, she kissed me and it made me shocked too. Ni hindi ako nakagalaw agad and as much as I want to feel her lips right there everything feels so wrong. I am so glad that I saw her and had the chance to explain myself but I never kissed her, Celine." She looked at me straight in the eye again, and it's like she's asking me to believe her.

"I don't know why am I explaining this to you, but these past few months? I just see myself not wanting you to think of those things wrongly. I grew to know that I hate to see you cry. that i've been caring for what you would feel more than how I thought. Everything you do seems to interest me. And it confuses me because I once hate those things but now? They ended uo being the things I love most." She confessed, still looking at me in the eye.

I found myself not knowing what to say or do, I'm speechless in my seat. I can't seem to find the words I want to say and I just ended up not saying anything at all. I don't know what she meant by those, I don't know what those feelings are, I don't want to assume for pete sake. But my heart feels happy.

I'm happy to know she feels that way to me.

But it's confusing because I don't know what those feelings are.

"What that supposed to be mean?" I asked hesitantly, afraid of what she will say. I avoided her eyes and looked at everything but her.

"I like you, Celine. not as a friend or just someone close to me, but romantically. I like you."