Chapter Eight

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Breakfast & Weird feelings
Tammy

I could say "life was better without phones" like all those pissed old people when their grandkids are on their phones around them. I could say I'd never get my kid a phone in general- or, I can say the truth- which is that I miss my family- specially Skylar, before social media and the way they looked was oh-so important.

Now? Even if we're sitting in a kitchen filled with Valentine's day decorations that consist of baby cupids and heart ended arrows and heart shaped pancakes with little strawberries on them and whipped cream sitting on the pink China plates in front of us.

It's not even that time yet- I mean it is, but not really.

There's still ten more days until Valentine's day- but mom said to her insta that we're doing "28 days of love" whatever that means.

If for us, this month'll be all about love..

Why don't I feel the love she's
apparently conveying?

Mom's long left the table to edit her daily morning time footage- and Dad's doing some work for his company- Skylar's snapping photos and photos and more fucking photos and the sound is driving me crazy. 

Ryder was the only Hollingsworth kids with enough sense to leave early.

Now I'm alone.

Alone like always- ALONE, but surrounded by fucking people.

I'm sick and tired of being fucking alone.

Between Skylar's selfies and Dad's silence, I shoot up out of my seat- I haven't even ate but I guess I'll order in or something later when I'm even more alone, "I'm going to school now" I state.

"Mhm" Skylar says- and Dad doesn't even acknowledge me.

Is this middle child syndrome? I mean, Skylar's okay, Ryder's okay.

Am I crazy..?

I go upstairs to put on my shoes and I have to stop and stare at the photos hanging along the wall of the staircase.

Pictures and pictures and pictures of a once happy family.

We were happy.

So what happened?

Mom got famous, Dad's company blew up- Skylar became an influencer over fucking night and Ryder's a basketball star but in these photos?

In these photos Skylar's a little girl who loves to run and skip and play- who has her short brown hair in pigtails and no makeup, no lip plumping lip gloss or Iphone- no instagram- no socials.

A love for all things that the Skylar here probably hates. No aesthetic she feels as though she has to follow.

There's dad- the same man- a little younger, less old and tired, with her hands on little Skylar's shoulders who despite being tired after work would pick me up and spin me around and take me to my room- the same Dad who would read us kids Dr Seuss stories over and over and over again until we had stories like Green Eggs and Ham and Cat In The Hat memorized for the rest of our lives.

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