Because Of Her Jacket

Chapter Thirteen

Confessions & Jealousy
♡ Fiona ♡

"Why exactly did we get out a block away?" Lizzy asks as soon as we see Tammy's car drive away.

I keep my eyes on the sidewalk because if I look up, it's over, she'd see right through me.

"So we could get a sisterly walk in" I lie.

Lizzy snorts, "please, I spend 99% of my time with you, there's no way you'd want to walk together".

I bit my lip, focusing instead on the cracks on the sidewalk. I don't believe in that "step on a crack" bullshit but I skip over them for fun and see how many I can do without stepping on them.

"Fiona" Lizzy whines.

"Hm?"

"Come on, talk to me- that's literally why little sisters exist" she pauses, "token character" she taps her head.

"Stop watching that guy who makes fun of Disney movies" I chuckle, shaking my head, "this is real life".

"As a wise you once said" she begins, "real life sucks".

"Fine" I sigh, looking up at her, "promise you won't tell Yasmine"

"Promise" she says slowly, like she's unsure whether she wants to or not.

"Lizzy" I stop, "promise or I won't tell".

"Okay, okay" she says, she holds up her pinky finger and links it with mine, "I promise".

I tale in a deep breath of air and the two of us begin to walk again, "Yasmine doesn't like Tammy-" I bit my lip-

But before I can talk Lizzy says, "but you do" like she knows it for sure, like it's the mist obvious thing in the world.

"O-only as a friend" I lie.

Lizzy rolls her eyes, "please don't try that friend bullshit with me Fiona Taylor I see right through you".

"Well that's scary.."

"Point is," Lizzy sighs, "you have the hots for the girls our cousin hates and you knew Yasmine will find out-"

"She's probably going to find out about the party, too" I worry.

"And what if she doesn't?"

"Then I'll have to tell her eventually" I say softly, "I feel guilty for talking to her, but I also feel guilty for not".

"The way I see it" Lizzy kicks a rock, watching it bounce down the street and stop at the grass of someone's lawn, "you like Tammy, Yasmine loves you- she's your best friend, true friends are happy for their friends".

"But that's just the thing" I say quickly, "Yasmine hates Tammy because she's a player, Yasmine doesn't want me getting hurt- or anybody for the matter and I don't want to get hurt- I don't want to be another girl on the list of bimbos Tammy Hollingsworth played" I pause, inhaling sharply, "if I'm going to have all my first, I want it to be special- " I look at my sister, "not just another Friday night".

Lizzy looks at me all thoughtful and at that moment, she feels a little older than me, more wise beyond her years- she doesn't even say anything, she just places her hand in mine reassuringly and we leave it at that.

. . .

"You wanna know something hella funny?" Yas asks- the two of us are walking down the hall together before seventh period.

"Sure?" I say slowly, my brows cocked up.

"People are saying they saw you at Tony Davis's party with Tammy" she says-

I stop my eyes from widening, but oh my god- my heart's racing.

She's going to hate me-

This is the end, I no longer have a best friend-

And then she laughs, "that's the funniest shit I've heard in forever" she wipes away an imaginary tear.

I let out a breath of air, one that's followed by a "laugh".

"I know, I know" she laughs hard, "who would even believe that? You never even leave your house!"

I giggle loudly, desperately trying to sound natural.

But then I stop- because I hear a name that's way too familiar.

I hate it, I hate that this name is beginning to become my normal- that her face is becoming my normal, that her scent and her smile and her eyes are becoming my normal.

I fucking hate it.

I hold my arm out, causing Yasmine to come to an abrupt stop.

Then I hear things more clearly- it's we're standing right in front of two girls- Sadie, I think, and Alice Morgan, I know both of them from my second period class.

"Tammy and I might be getting serious" Sadie giggles to her friend.

"But she hasn't texted you in days?" Alice questions.

"So? That just means we're secure" Sadie snorts- my heart sinks.

She's getting played. I'm getting played- we're both getting played but for some reason I'm jealous and hurt- I'm hurt and I'm not even dating her.

"Fee?" Yasmine looks at me, concerned.

"Hm?" I snap out of my thoughts.

"You okay?"

"Y-yeah" I lie, "I uh- just feel a little sick" and I do.

I feel sick and dumb and stupid.

"Oh-" she begins but I'm already darting to the bathroom.

I push open the bathroom door and then slam the stall close and lock it.

"Fee?" Yasmine's voice says.

I just want to be alone. I need to be alone.

I feel stupid- useless. Is this how I'm going to feel forever?

I wouldn't feel that way if I never spoke to her.

"I uh- g-go to class" I tell her loudly, "I'm probably going to be here for a while" technically, it's not a lie.

Technically it's true.

I am going to be a while.

Can I really talk to this girl again? It hurts and It shouldn't but it fucking hurts.

Serious? They're going to get serious?

Hypothetically, if she even dated me would she play me?

Would she treat me like any other girl she's ever made cry?

. . .
♡ T   A   L   E   Y   I   A   H ♡