Memories

Felix De la Rosa

"Mom...can you come bail me out..?" I whispered into the telephone. I was using my one free call to ask my mom to get me out of this jail. I didn't deserve to be here! She agreed but I knew I was getting it when I got home. After what seemed like ages, an officer told me I was free to go. My mom hugged me and pulled away to reprimand me.

"Felix, me prometiste que ya no te ibas a meter en problemas. So why did I have to come bail you out of jail?" She said, sounding half concerned and half furious.

"Mom, I..." I wanted to tell my mom about how I'm just a fuck-up. I wanted to tell her I'm sorry for not being the son she wanted and deserved. I wanted to tell her that I haven't done anything right in my life, but the words didn't leave my mouth. They were caught in my throat. I cleared my throat, hoping the words would come out easier that way. Still, nothing came out. I had to take the easy way out and just say,

"I'm sorry." As I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly.

                                            ~~~

A loud obnoxious sound awoke me. It was my phone, a call incoming from Edward. I threw my head back onto the pillow, my head feeling heavy. I picked up reluctantly.

"What do you want, Edward?" I said groggily.

"Hey man I probably woke you up, but I just wanted to say sorry for kicking you out like that last night. I was just confused and overwhelmed. Sorry man." Edward said.

I massaged my temples, man I swear my head is about to burst. I wasn't really paying attention to Edward. Wanting to get off the phone and get some more sleep I just replied with,
"Yeah man it's good I understand."

"Okaaaay. Also, thought I should let you know that Susanna left with Samuel last night so, she's fine man." Edward replied before hanging up.

Huh?

Susanna left with Samuel? Damn, I don't know why that stung. I dug my head deeper into my pillow, ready to get some more shut-eye.

"Yeah whatever. She was just for the 30 bucks, nothing else." I felt my voice crack as I said that. I didn't really mean that, I don't know why I said it though. I closed my eyes and tried to fall back asleep, but the memories of Susanna confronting me and getting pulled over flooded my mind. I couldn't fall back asleep. I rolled onto my back and groaned. Man what was I doing? I gotta get my act together, for real this time. I sat up in my bed and decided I was going to go over to Susanna's house to apologize. I got up, picked out a simple outfit and took a Tylenol for my raging headache and chugged some water. I walked towards the door, ready to go apologize to Susanna. As I got there, I looked back at the picture. The picture of us.

We've known each other for like, ever. Why'd I do that? I mean, I did like her. Like, more than a friend. What am I even thinking? I need to get going.

I slam the door shut and make my way straight to Susanna's house.

                                           ~

I walked up to Susanna's doorstep, waiting for a lecture, maybe some crying, maybe even another slap. I sigh to myself, knocking on the door gently. I looked down at the little camera, knowing she would be able to see me from inside. As soon as I heard footsteps walking towards the door, I began to feel more nervous, thinking about how I'd apologize, explain, and beg for forgiven—

"Hola mijo.. Eres amigo de la Susanna?" Susanna's mother answered the door, catching me somewhat off-guard.

"Ah- Si.. Está la Susanna?" I politely asked, not wanting to fuck-up my first interaction with her family.

"Perdón mijo, ahorita no. Está en eh.." She paused, clearly trying to regain memory.

"Está en la casa de Sam, o algo así.." She answered, giving me a small shrug.

I could feel a lump clog inside my throat. Who the fuck is Sam? What does he want with Susanna? What could he possibly have that I don't? I may have fucked up once but it.. it wasn't like I asked her out or anything.. I looked at her blankly, before finally replying.

"Ah, okay. Gracias pues." I said as I turned away, biting my lip a little too hard. I could feel the rage grow in me.

"Espera! Como te llamas? Cuando llega le digo que llegaste." I turned back as she called out.

"Me llamo Felix!" I answered her, turning my back again and walking off with my hands in my pockets. What the hell am I going to do with Samuel?

                               Susanna Martinez

I looked down at my phone, realizing I never got to ask for Sam's number or socials. I'll just have to ask him at school. I don't even think I have him in any class? I slipped my phone back into my pocket, sighing to myself until I saw.. Felix? Oh fuck no.

I turned away, making sure he didn't notice me.

"Hey.. Wait, Susanna!" His voice shouted out to me. I guess that didn't work.

I began speed-walking, not wanting to speak, be around, or even see him. I wanted nothing to do with Felix. I could hear his footsteps get closer, which only fueled my anger. I could listen to him talk but I didn't understand anything he said, probably some shitty apology. I didn't want to hear any of it.

"Susanna look— listen!" Felix called to me, I kept walking, trying to keep my cool.

"You don't want to listen to me? Fine, bet you'll listen Samuel's fat fucking cock though, huh!?"

Those words made me stop in my tracks. How the hell did he know about Sam? I turned around, facing and walking towards him.

"Look, Felix. You have no reason to be upset. We weren't anything. We aren't anything." I said in a harsh tone, making sure he knew I got his message about him "just being here for a good time."

Felix opened his mouth, but before he could get any words out, I spoke up again.

"And we'll never be anything." I finished.

I could see Felix take in my words as his enraged and confused face looked at me, staring at me blankly. I turned back around, walking back to my house. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked back, sighing to myself. I made it home and unlocked the door harshly, slamming the door.

"No me andas tirando las puertas así!!" I heard my mom yell out as I quickly walked up the stairs, feeling my throat tighten up.

I shut my door, locking it and jumping into bed, not wanting to deal with anyone anymore. I put in my AirPods and started playing music, trying to get Felix out my mind. I slowly teared up, sniffling to myself as I hugged my pillow, sobbing quietly.