Memories

Susanna Martinez

Sam and I walked to his car, thank goodness. I wouldn't know what to do if I went on that bus full of loud ass kids again that stink like shit again. I opened the door to the passenger seat, taking a seat down as he sat on the drivers seat.

"Sam, wanna go get food on Saturday? I found this new restaurant and they have this strawberry cake that you might like." I said as I scrolled through my phone, turning to look at him.

He didn't respond and laid his hands on the wheel, clearly zoning out. I furrowed my eyebrows, confused on what was happening.

"You okay— something wrong?" I asked, a worried look appearing on my face.

"Susanna." He finally spoke up, still staring at the wheel as he spoke. His body turned tense, his teeth biting his bottom lip.

"Sam?" I asked, still visibly confused.

A moment of tenderness silence sat between us, before he finally let out a deep breath.

"Look, you're a great girl." He started off, his hands moving to his thighs.

"But we can't do this anymore. We just can't." I felt my eyes widen at that. What the fuck is happening???

He laid his head back onto the head of the seat, turning to me. "Before I was with you.. I was really never into.. you know. Drugs."

"Yeah I did a little but not as much as now.. I really do like you, love you, even. But it's a lot when I constantly feel jealous of every other guy you speak to. Every time I even see you near someone else that isn't me, my heart aches."

"So.. because of this, I tried using the drugs to help distract me— make me relax from all of this. It really worked out well. For a while."

"Now I can't help but stress everytime you even speak, follow, or even message another person and it's driving me crazy. I tried the drugs over and over— but they made me sick. Not sick.. Addicted."

"And you're great and all but.. You're the cause of this. You're the reason of all of this." He finally finished.

I could feel my face grow hot and tears swell into my eyes. This can't be happening. I could almost throw up.

"We have to break up." He added, which made my heart hurt even more.

I couldn't even speak, my breath began to grow heavy and my nose was heating up, I just gave him a small nod.

"I.." I tried speaking, to which I quickly choked up.

"I need to go." I said quietly, opening the door and stepping out, closing it quickly.

I stood up, staring at the wind that blew in my face as tears quick began streaming down my cheeks. I quickly began walking away from the car, walking out the school gates with my hands deep in my pockets.

I took a quick glance back at Samuel's car, still trying to process everything that he had told me.

Until I saw the other car right behind his, still parked even though it was already after school.

Felix's car.

He did this.

                          ~~~

I walked up to the door step, knocking hard on the door. Tears stained my cheeks, angry tears. I could feel my blood begin to boil after the door opens, seeing Felix's dumbass face.

"Hey, what's wron—" Felix tried asking as he saw my face to which I quickly interrupted him.

"What the fucks your problem?" I yelled at him, pushing him back.

"My problem??- What's yours!?" He quickly snapped back.

"You ruined us! You ruined my relationship for what fucking reason? Because you changed!?" I sobbed out, dropping my face to the palm of my hands. "It is all your fault!" My cries muffled by my hands.

I could feel his eyes stare me down as I sobbed into my hands, I almost ran out of breath from how much I had cried. I felt frozen, I couldn't do anything but stand there and sob into my hands. I felt chills run down my body as I felt warmth covering me, someone's arms around me.

I looked up as Felix held me close, hugging me tightly. A rush of emotions ran through me, but all I could do was cry. I laid my head on his shoulder, my tears dropping down to his shirt. I didn't hug him back, but I stayed close. It was really comforting but at the same time, this was really wrong.

"Why'd you do this..?" I asked quietly, his hand leading to my hair and gently playing with it.

"It just wasn't meant to be, you and I both know that." He said softly, his hand gently moving up and down my spine.

Those words really stuck with me. I did really like him at the beginning but I really liked Sam as well. Ugh, I don't know anymore. I just let out a few more small cries before slowly pulling away.

I looked up at him, sniffling softly as his hands went up to my face, wiping off my tears.

"Come on, let's get you some water." He said with a smile, closing the door and gently holding my hand, leading me to his kitchen.

                                          ~~~

Not even a moment later, I was in Felix's bed, his arms still around me. I hated this, but loved it so much. I had so many mixed emotions about this. Going back to my cheating ex right after a break up, really Susanna? This is really disappointing. But at the same time, I can't help but enjoy it. The comforting way he held me, the way he played with my hair took care of me. I can't help but love it. I let out a small sigh, shutting my eyes closed. I hugged Felix back, and fell asleep.