Memories

Susanna Martinez

December

Life has changed a lot, and in the best ways possible.

I graduate high school in 5 months.
I'm in a semi-successful band now.
I visit Samuel often.
I'm healing, to say the least.

The only thing that hasn't changed is how much I still love Felix to this day.

"Hey Susan! You ready for tonight?" Ana asks as she sits down at the lunch table.

Me and the band were performing tonight at a local cafe. We got a lot of gigs like this pretty often.

"Yeah! You'll be there, right?" I reply with a smile on my face.

"Of course we will," Emilio replies for her, sitting down, Liza and Gisselle behind him.

"We basically own the band. Of course we're going," Liza says as she sits down.

There was some truth to her words. Liza, Gisselle, Emilio, and Ana all worked behind the scenes. They all wanted to join in after I shared the idea of a band.

Emilio and Ana taught all the boys how to play their instruments. Thanks to them, Luis, Jaiden, and Edward all now knew how to play instruments, and they were fairly good at it too.

Edward is on electric guitar, Jaiden on bass, Luis on drums. I'm vocals and guitar.

Liza and Gisselle composed original music for us. They write up melodies and sometimes even our lyrics.

We're all a team, and we work great together.

"It'll be a breeze! We always crush it out there!" Jaiden says as he too sits down at the lunch table, Edward and Luis trailing behind him.

We spend our lunch break huddled together at the cramped table chewing on pizza and discussing the set list for tonight. There's a cheerful atmosphere surrounding us, laughter overpowering any other sound. It only ends after we get cut short by the bell, telling us to head to our next class period.

We all make our respective ways to our classes, saying our goodbyes for now.

I sit down at my designated desk. I wasn't too excited for World History, but it was whatever. I tap my fingers against the desk's surface, thinking about what the rest of my day would look like.

I would get out of school and probably head over to visit Samuel. After that, go home, change and shower, then head to the cafe.

It seems crazy, but I've forgiven Samuel.

It hurt absolutely devastatingly at first, but that's the thing with time. Just give time time, and things work out.

I got out of my head as the teacher spoke up and into the world of the Industrial Revolution of Britain.

~

"Hey, Samuel," I speak into the phone, looking at Samuel as much as I could through the glass separating us.

"Hey, Susanna," He replies with a smile on his face. "Big plans tonight?"

"You know it. Another gig."

"Give it your best. Maybe an agents in the audience," Samuel says, an eyebrow raised.

I scoff. "Yeah for sure. A talent agent will be coincidentally scouting the same night we perform at a small cafe in a small town."

"You never know," he tilts his head with his eyebrow still raised.

The night continues on like this. I update him on my life. Him on his. There isn't much new about life in prison. Sometimes, the most eventful part of his week is how much commissary he got that week. It didn't matter to me what he had to share. Just that he had something to share. Something I could listen to. Something that made him feel less lonely, at least. I loved him once, I could love him again.

After about an hour or two, I make my way back home.

I shower and change into an all black somewhat-fancy outfit. I make sure my bangs are perfect and make my eyeliner a bit heavier this time. In an hour and a half, I'm ready to go. I pick up my sheet music and guitar and head out the door. I shoot the band group chat a message before leaving. 

'I'm leaving now. Are you all ready?'

'Yes ma'am' Edward replies.

'Yes mom!' Emilio answers.

'Been. We're at the cafe already 😭✌️' Gisselle answers.

'WHAT? OK OMW' I type out quickly before picking up my keys and heading out to my car.

I carefully place my guitar down in the backseat and my sheet music next to me in the passenger seat. I turn up the radio and make my way to the cafe, mentally preparing myself for the performance.

The cafe isn't too far from my home, I get there quickly. The rest of the band—Jaiden, Luis, and Edward— are already setting up onstage, dressed in all black as well. Ana, Emilio, Gisselle, and Liza sit in the audience at a nearby table.

I wave to them before I head on stage to set up as well.

"Hey, Susy! We've got a crowd tonight," Luis greets me.

I perk my head up and look at the people in the cafe. There were quite a lot of people. It almost made me nervous.

I shake my head. "Just means we've gotta be extra good tonight,"

"You know it!" He replies, an eager smile on his face.

Eventually, we begin our set. We put on another good performance, cheers and claps from the audience proving it.

As beads of sweat roll down my forehead, I lock eyes with a man in a tuxedo sitting in the audience.

He grins and claps, staring straight at me.