Memories

Susanna Martinez

My hand gently backed away from his cheekbone, my eyes slightly widening at the sudden sight of Felix's halfway opened eyes. Waves of relief and concern filled my body, my hand beginning to trembling.

"Felix.." I called out, my voice barely above a whisper. Tears filled my eyes, slipping down my cheeks. I could feel my throat begin to clog, my lips parted apart but nothing coming out. Could he even hear me? Is he even conscious right now?? My mind was filled and running with questions.

A short-winded breath escaped from Felix's lips, breezing toward my hand.

"Susanna?" His voice whispered out, cracked and weak.

I couldn't stop the tears from falling down my face as I intertwined our fingers.

"Felix!" I sobbed out with tears of joy. The weak mutter of my name escaping his lips melted away all my fear. The fear I would never be able to stare into his golden-brown eyes again. Fear that I would never be able to scoff at his cocky smile ever again. I opened my mouth to speak but was interrupted by my choking sobs and a knock at the door.

A tall man with a white coat on top of his scrubs and low hanging glasses on the bridge of his nose walked in, staring down at his clipboard. He looked up from his hands to speak.

"Hello, are you Susanna Martinez?" He said, his voice gentle.

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and cleared my throat.

"Yes, how may I help?" I said, my voice unstable.

"Thank you for coming in. I just wanted to share some information with you."

"As you know, he was found pretty badly beat. We're looking at a few broken bones, he's got lots of bruises and even a few bruises on his lungs. He also seems to have some trauma to the head. We feel pretty optimistic however. He'll be safe in our hands." The doctor said, giving me a warm smile.

I nodded at him, managing a small smile back at him. "How long do you think it'll take him to recover?" I said, my voice desperate.

"Well I think we're looking at around 2-3 weeks, mainly for that head trauma I mentioned." The doctor said, his eyes darting to the machines Felix was hooked up to.

His eyes searched frantically for something on the machines —and maybe it was paranoia, but—I could see panic in them. The doctor picked up a small pager that was on his lanyard and spoke into it. "Code 2, room 627." He said, his voice firm.

"Doctor? What's wrong?" I said, now panicked and worried at his sudden change of attitude.

"Probably nothing." The doctor said, his voice remaining steady and firm.

Probably?

I felt a wave of anxiety wash over me, consuming me whole. My chest started to rise and fall frantically as I became unable to manage my breathing. Tears obscured my vision, the nurses and doctors all blurred as they rushed into the room.

I managed one last look at Felix's fluttering eyelids before I was rushed out of the room. I wanted to call out to him, I wanted to demand an explanation but my voice failed me. It was a weak mutter and all that escaped my lips was his name.

Before I knew it, I was standing outside the door, tears dripping down my face. I was suddenly pulled out of my haze as I felt hands on my arms.

"Susanna? What's wrong?" A woman called out.

I looked up to see Felix's mother standing in front of me, worry all over her face.

I quickly tried to compose myself to answer.

"Um, I don't know. A bunch of doctors came in and surrounded Felix. They said they're not too worried about him but then they all rushed in. I don't know what's going on." I said, my voice shaky.

I watched her face until I saw the worry on her face be overwritten with frustration. I thought I saw her scowl. She spoke up, her hands still on my arms.

"Look, you can leave now. I'm here, I'll stay with Felix." She said, giving me a half smile.

I stood there, stunned. She didn't want me here?

With my emotions all over the place, I just spoke up without thinking.

"Did I do something wrong? Why do you want me to leave now?" I said, hurrying the words to leave my mouth.

She chuckled under her breath before speaking up again. "We can talk about this later." She said, removing her hands from me.

"No I wanna talk now!" I responded, my words coming out harsher than I intended them to.

She sighed before going to sit down in a chair next to a plant and water fountain. I followed and sat beside her. She laid her head in her palms, closing her eyes. We sat in silence for a moment before she raised her head and turned to me.

"I don't want you with my son anymore."