Memories

Susanna Martinez

I suddenly became very aware of my surroundings.

I noticed the hallway of the hospital was empty, except for Felix's mom and I.

I could hear the quiet beeping of a machine and frantic voices from inside Felix's room.

I was also suddenly aware of the bags that sat under Ms. De La Rosa's eyes, and how they looked puffy and red.

I was also aware of the harsh tone that accompanied her words.

I don't want you with my son anymore

"I don't know what you mean."

Of course I knew what she meant, but she couldn't really mean it.

"Susanna I'm sure you're a very nice girl," she paused, then continued at my lack of response. ",but ever since you and my Felix started....dating, he's don't nothing but suffer." Her eyes fluttered up to meet mine. "That night, his face was horribly swollen and bloody." She finished, wincing at the memory.

Was she talking about that night, that seemed so long ago now, when Sam punched Felix in the face?

Was she blaming me for that?

"And now again today, his face is bloodied and bruised. I almost can't recognize him." She said turning her head away from me.

"You can't seriously be blaming me for that." I answered without thinking.

"Susanna, you've put my son's life in danger multiple times. I want you to stay away from him." She replied, trying to remain level-headed.

I opened my mouth to argue back before a doctor suddenly burst through the door.

"Please, come in." The doctor spoke.

Not speaking, we complied and walked into Felix's room once again.

Felix lay there, a group of doctors around his bed.

Dr. Pattinson faced us then spoke up.

"Felix's condition has worsened. We initially thought he was only suffering a mild concussion, but the impact of the hits have shaken his brain, bruising it and bursting a few of  his blood vessels. We will have to perform surgery on him but we thought that before we do we'd give you two a moment with him."

I wasn't sure what to respond with. I felt like puking.

Is he going to die?

A million questions started buzzing in my head but before I could move or even breathe again, Felix's mom thanked the doctor and was suddenly by his side. It was then when I realized Felix's eyes were open and his breathing was slow and tattered.

The doctors fled the room and I stood in the center of the room, watching as his mother caressed and kissed his face.

I felt a warm tear drop fall down my cheek and dug my nails into the palms of my hands.

After a moment, Felix's mom left the room, tears in her eyes—leaving Felix and I alone.

Felix looked at me—as much as he could with that neck brace on. I slowly approached his side, grabbing his hand as the tears began to stream down my face.

I intertwined our fingers and stared at his bruised face.

"Susanna." He whispered out, staring back at me.

"I'm here." I replied, my voice barely a whisper.

"Thank you...for being the love of my life." He spoke softly.

I squeezed his hand gently. "Why are you thanking me? You're not dying." I don't know if I was trying to convince him or myself.

"Regardless, thank you." He answered.

I didn't have an answer for him, it hurt too much seeing him like this.

With tears, I closed the space between our faces and pressed my lips onto his.

His lips felt cold under mine.

He kissed me back, or at least tried to.

I clung to his lips, savoring the cold and bitter taste of them, scared I wouldn't be able to feel and taste it again.

A knock on the door forced my eyelids open. I slowly pulled away from him, even though it felt like a hole was being ripped into my chest—deeper and deeper—with each inch of space I left between us.

A pair of doctors walked in and I brought myself to my feet.

"I love you, Felix."

"I love you forever, Susanna."

And then he was being ushered out of the room, leaving me in the empty room. Alone.