11. The Voiding

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"Do you remember... do you know who did this to you?"

The nanny presses her lips into a thin line. Her eyes are focused on something behind Kimhan as if she is trying to remember what she went through. Trying to grasp onto something that would help Kimhan find out who did it, but after sitting in silence for a while, she just shakes her head, holding Kimhan's hand gently.

"It was dark and I was looking mostly down, paying attention to where I was going. I didn't even hear that person coming. Suddenly, I just felt pain all over my body and then... then you were next to me, Your Majesty. That's all I know. I'm afraid that I won't be able to help you."

Kimhan shakes his head and says reassuringly, "that doesn't matter. The fact that you are alive and well is enough. I'll let you rest now. And please, rest as much as you need to. The palace will work without you for a couple of days just fine."

The nanny smiled, "are you sure, it will, Your Majesty? What if Your Majesty and His Royal Highness will get into another fight? You should be nice to your husband, Your Majesty, with all due respect."

"And am I not?" Kimhan stands up and starts pacing the chamber. "I'm doing my best to walk on the eggshells around him. To respect him. To be as nice as I can so that he won't be scared to be here. But I don't think it works. I barely got him to come to help you, nanny. I'm afraid that I and my husband will never be on good terms."

"Can I ask you something, Your Majesty?"

Kimhan nods, stopping in the middle of the chamber and focusing his attention on his nanny.

"Why are you walking around His Royal Highness on eggshells?"

"Why? Nanny..." Kimhan chuckles exhausted, "because I'm the reason why he is here. I wanted him here. I needed him here. And now he has no way to ever be free from me. The least I can do is to be as careful as I can around him to make him at least think that being here isn't that bad."

"Excuse my forwardness, Your Majesty, but what you are doing is wrong. If I may, I would like to give you some advice."

Kimhan nods, "proceed—your advice is always welcomed, nanny."

The nanny pushes herself to sit up on her bed, places her hands in her lap, and takes a deep breath before she starts speaking. "It is my belief that it would be better if Your Majesty would put aside any boundaries that he has up when he is around his husband. His Majesty should be honest with his husband. Tell him why he was forced into marriage. Tell him how you truly feel about the war. Tell him your feelings about this kingdom, about why you can't just give up on it. Tell him that you are sorry. Answer all his questions no matter how many and how personal. Don't keep him trapped in his chamber or even in the palace. Let him be as free as he can be here. Take him to see the kingdom. Take him hunting, take him for a walk around the market, show him your favourite places... take him on the battlefield... simply, include him in your everyday life, Your Majesty. After all, he is the husband of the king. He should be by the king's side. You have to show him that he isn't a prisoner but a crucial part of the kingdom because it's true, isn't it? His Royal Highness is important, especially to Your Majesty, isn't he?"

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