13. Don't Hate Me, Little Flower

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Porchay has lost his mind

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Porchay has lost his mind. He must have. Why else would he be on his way to Kimhan's chamber right now? In the middle of the night...

At first, right after he got the message from Kimhan, Porchay didn't even consider following up on it. He simply crushed the lotus in his hand and closed his eyes, trying his best to relax as much as he could after the kind of day he just went through. But then, the longer he just lay there silent, his head full of thoughts about the Voidings, about his husband... about the kiss. Porchay didn't know what he hated more—the fact that he had to kiss Kimhan or the fact that he didn't despise it as much as he hoped he would... or at all.

He keeps telling himself that he hates Kimhan. Hates him with his whole being. So, why does he not feel like that anymore?

When Porchay finally got out of the bathtub he instinctively went towards his wardrobe, leaving the night robe untouched and reaching for a midnight blue robe with bell sleeves and golden hem around the collar. Its darkness reminded Porchay of Kimhan's eyes. Porchay liked the way the robe looked on him.

He stopped in front of the door before leaving his chamber as if only then suddenly realising what he was doing. What he was about to do. Why would he willingly go to Kimhan's chamber? And why would he do that, especially during the night? Kimhan was his enemy—he had to remember that. No matter that they were married—Kimhan Theerapanyakul was still the enemy of Porchay Kittisawat.

But despite that, Porchay stepped out of his chamber into the darkness of the night accompanying him on his way to his husband.

And now, Porchay is here. He can already see the guards guarding the chamber of their king. With every step Porchay takes towards the chamber, the less he is sure that what he is doing is a good idea. What does Kimhan even want from him in the middle of the night? There are not many possibilities that Porchay can think of, and none of them seem pleasant to him. He still has time to turn around and simply tell Kimhan tomorrow, that he didn't want to see him. Simple as that. The problem is that for reasons unknown to Porchay, he might actually want to see his husband.

Now, when he calmed down a little from what happened in the forest, he has even more questions. And surprisingly, he actually wants to know how Kimhan is feeling. Kimhan's wounds looked all closed after their kiss, but those were only the wounds Porchay could see; there could easily be wounds he didn't notice under Kimhan's clothes. This is the thing about Porchay, he cares. Even if he desperately doesn't want to care. He cares. That's just the way he is. His nature since he was born. But that doesn't mean that he has to show it to Kimhan. Kimhan doesn't need to know. He doesn't.

Before Porchay realises it, he is already standing in front of Kimhan's chamber and the guards are bowing to him one after the other.

"Your Royal Highness."

"Is my husband alone?"

"The royal physician is there, Your Royal Highness. He is checking His Majesty's wounds."

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