18. Question of Choice

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"It was a mistake, coming here," Porchay says, watching the two most important men in his life being just a mere move away from killing each other

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"It was a mistake, coming here," Porchay says, watching the two most important men in his life being just a mere move away from killing each other. What did he even expect? His brother not to attack Kimhan the first chance he gets? And Kimhan not to defend himself? Stupid. How could Porchay be so stupid? But he just wanted to see his family again. Wanted to talk to his mother. Wanted to feel the land he grew up at, again, under his feet, and feel the familiar air dancing through his hair. Is that too much to want? Is he no longer allowed to want that?

"Porsche Kittisawat put that sword down!"

Tears fill up Porchay's eyes. He turns towards the gate and smiles, "mother..."

The Queen Mother strolls through the gate, her light pink dress and white lilies in her hair make her look like she has walked out straight from Porchay's childhood memories. She still looks so young; looks like she hasn't gained a wrinkle, hasn't gained a year while Porchay grew up from a little boy to a man. Porchay missed her so much.

"Mother," Porsche glances at her, "look what this man has done to your son! Why should I not just kill him right now?"

"It's not my husband who hurt me like that. It's your own general!" Porchay steps towards Porsche and puts a hand on the sword Porsche is still holding at his husband's neck. "So, if you want to hurt someone—you are barking at the wrong tree, hia."

"General Sun..." Porsche mumbles under his breath, his hand wavering a little, but he still doesn't take his sword away.

"Yes, your bloody general," Kimhan spits out. "You should be glad that I didn't kill him on the spot! Porchay knows that I damn wanted to!"

"Porsche, put the sword down, please," Queen Mother says patiently. Her voice is so gentle and caring; it floats through the air like cherry blossom petals.

Porsche slowly steps away and lowers his sword, his eyes flickering between Kimhan and Porchay's wound. "You aren't welcomed in this kingdom. No matter what you do or who you marry..." Porsche looks at Porchay, his eyes following Porchay's hand, which has found its way around Kimhan's hand, making them look like they are holding Kimhan's sword together.

Porchay is aware of the way it looks, but he has enough of his brother acting as if Kimhan is the only one guilty of awful things here. Not that long ago, Porche almost killed an innocent old woman just because she is connected to Kimhan. Right now, Porsche's men are on the battlefield, most likely fighting with Kimhan's men. Porchay has his own sins, just like their mother most likely has some as well. No one is without blame, but everyone should be respected.

So, Porchay doesn't let go of his husband. Instead, he tips his chin up and looks right into his brother's eyes, "Kimhan could have said no. He could have locked me in my chamber and never let me see you and our mother again. He could have done unspeakable things to me. Instead, he came here with me because I asked him to. He came to the kingdom in which everyone wants him dead. He came here, knowing well that he could be attacked any moment from any side. Yet, he still came... because I wanted him to. All I'm asking from you, hia, is to let him stay by my side for the three days I want to stay here... if I'm still welcome here. Who knows, maybe now that I'm married to the enemy... I'm an enemy as well..."

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