Rhythmic Laws (Law School Series 2)

16

Naninikip ang dibdib ko, naghahabol ng hininga, habang nanglalamig ang aking katawan, pinagpapawisan sa takot, hanggang sa iminulat ko ang aking mata at mapagtantong panaginip lang pala ang rason ng aking kinakatakutan.

Then I realized, I woke Seb too... or maybe he's been awake, just waiting for me to wake up just like the nights I've been having nightmares.

Bumangon at kinuhanan niya ako ng tubig. Pareho kaming pumunta sa aking balcony at umupo sa seats ng coffee table.

"What are you thinking right now? Something stressing you?" he asks as I finished the glass of water he gave.

"Nothing in particular, nightmares just come and go," I sighed.

Pareho naming pinagmasdan ang mga gusaling natatanaw namin sa aming harapan.

"Anong napanaginipan mo ngayon?"

"Mm..." I sighed again, thinking if I should tell him now.

My dream was about me running again, walang matakbuhan, madilim ang paligid, hindi ko alam kung ako ba ang hinahabol o may hinahabol ako. But when I looked into my hands, it's covered in blood.

Then I realized, I'm still trapped inside that childhood trauma. That fucking crime I've been wanting to escape.

"Will you ever change if you knew something that is terrifying about me?" I tried to be brave this time, to be honest with him.

"No matter what..." he clasped my right hand and weaved my fingers into his.

"You remembered when I told you I have a younger brother?" I started.

"Mm-mm, but you never really told me anything about him," he responded with a confusing look.

"There was an accident when I was seven years old and he was five when we lost him," I sighed deeply one last time.

"Hindi mo kailangang sabihin ito sa akin kung hindi mo kaya, we can go back to bed—"

"I can, I want to tell you,"

"Maybe it would help..." he then agrees.

"That night of the incident, magkasama kami sa kuwarto ni Carlo at hindi ako makatulog kaya bumaba ako sa aking kuwarto papunta sa kusina para kumuha ng gatas, pero pagdating ko ng kusina, nalooban na kami ng magnanakaw. Everything happened so fast. Tumakbo ako pabalik sa itaas pero nahabol niya ako. May hawak siyang kutsilyo, he was a teenager, sabi niya 'wag akong sisigaw dahil aalis din siya, kaya sinunod ko ito. Pinanood ko siyang magnakaw sa bahay. Akala ko ligtas na kami, pero nagising din ang kapatid ko, sumigaw siya, kaya hinabol siya nito. Agad akong nakipaglabad sa kaniya kahit doble nito ang laki niya sa akin. Hanggang sa tatlo kaming nadulas sa hagdan. I broke my leg that night, but my brother, Carlo, he got stabbed right through his chest. I was seven... stupid. I couldn't do anything. Nagising sila Mama at Papa, at ang tanging nagawa ko lang ay tumakbo palabas para habulin ang lalaking sumaksak sa kapatid ko."