Rhythmic Laws (Law School Series 2)

36

Chances to continue
Chances to live
Chances to get hurt
Chances to lose, and
Chances to try again.

If I could scream all of this line to my song, maybe I could scream it also inside myself.

Just like before, para kaming bumalik sa dati. Seb and I came back to the courting stage of knowing each other again. Though I guess where both fooling ourselves because even if the years had passed, we still both feel like we knew each other.

"You don't have to hide like this all the time, Clay," he points out what I'm wearing.

Madalas lang talaga akong magsuot ng hoodie at mask sa tuwing lumalabas especially in times where I don't want to be seen out in public.

Seb knew the price of my fame. But he never cared.

Gaya ng sabi niya, mas naging komportable akong lumabas lalo pa at kasama siya.

Some pictures were out in public, and most of it are our pictures together. May mga stolen photos, may mga photos na galing sa mga fan na nagpapicture sa amin, at mga litratong inilabas na rin namin sa public.

We both have nothing to hide. We're too old for this. We're wasting too much time hiding because of what people might think about us. It's time to let things go.

Madalas kung may mga show ako, hindi siya nakakasama sa mga tapings o 'di kaya ay live performances. Naiintindihan ko naman sa nature ng work niya, pero sa tuwing kaya niyang gawaan ng paraan, sinusuportahan niya ako.

There are nights when he comes home late. Nagigising na lang ako sa gitna ng gabi na katabi ko na siya at nakayap.

"How's your day?" my husky voice whisper to his ear.

"It was a tiring day," he clings to me more.

I kiss him lightly on his forehead. Then hums him to sleep just the way he likes it.

This moment of my life is when seeing him doesn't hurt anymore. When lonely nights doesn't ache like before. And when silence isn't like a sleepless night full of nightmares.

But is it something that would end again just like before?

Will we repeat the same mistakes, the same fear, the same destiny?

Ano naman kayang dahilan ang magiging rason ko para hindi magwork ito? But do I really have to force it? When can I know that this time, this is it, this is the right time for us? Will I ever know?

"I don't want to lose your voice again..." his tired voice say in a dying whisper, "and you again..."

I realized, he's dreaming.

I kissed him again, this time on his cheeks.