Rhythmic Laws (Law School Series 2)

Shades of Law: Prologue

I have always loved December. It reminds me of snow when I first went to Switzerland when I was 10, the gifts under Christmas trees, carolings, and that also means new paint brushes, paints, and sketchbooks.

Tuwing pasko, lagi kong hinihiling dati na magkabalikan na sila Mama at Papa. Bata pa ako, walang alam, kaya kung ano anong hinihiling. Wala kasing mas gaganda pa sa panalangin kong iyon. Kahit ilan pang snow, regalo, o pamasko ang matanggap ko, 'yun ang lagi kong hiling.

Pero imposible. I ask for things that are hard to fulfill, kaya hindi natutupad.

But now that I'm 22, I still feel foolish. I'm still wishing for impossible things.

I wish God could bring back Peter.

Every December, it reminds me of him.

Peter is nice a guy. He has the humor and charm of Clay, he has a brave heart like Janella, and he kind of has my creativity (though ayokong aminin na mas magaling pa rin ako sa kaniya). To be honest, he's best in four of us.

But every nice thing doesn't last for too long. I hated that. I hated how the world takes the best part of me.

Gusto kong sumigaw, gusto kong magmura, gusto kong itapon lahat ng bagay na meron ako kapalit lang na makasama ko ulit siya.

Tanga talaga ako para gawin lahat ng iyon. Pero tanga na kung tanga, gagawin ko lahat para sa kaniya. Just like how he sacrificed everything for me, for our friendship, and for our love.

Nilunok ko lahat ng ito at pumasok sa law school. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit pa ako tumuloy.

Sabi ni Janella, hindi pa tapos ang mundo natin, kaya patuloy dapat kaming uurong. It sounds like it's easier for her to move on.

Clay also said that Peter would be proud of us if he sees us in heaven, passing the Bar. I don't even know if Clay grieved that long just like I am in right now.

But I can't blame them. I love my friends. Kaso minsan, may mga bagay na ako lang ang nakakaintindi. And that's the tragic for me.

Isa sa mga paborito kong alaala sa kaniya ay noong samahan niya ako sa campus studio para magpinta.

We're alone in the room, nakauwi na lahat ng mga kasama kong artists, at tanging ilaw ko na lamang ang bukas na siyang tumatama sa aking canvas.

I was painting a landscape, a green scenery of a farm far from the city. It's like a dream place, a home that I feel familiar with, and with that, the painting felt beautiful every time the light kisses it.

"You're really good at landscapes," nagulat ako nang hablutin niya ang earphones sa tenga ko at ibulong ito sa akin.

"Aatakihin ako sa'yo!" pagpalo ko sa kaniyang braso na halos dalawang beses sa laki ng palad ko.

He looks at my painting and I catch his eyes. Those eyes. Those fucking eyes. I could paint those eyes without looking. I could know him in a dark place and would still remember every feature of his face. That beautiful face of man.

"Storytelling, the strokes, the colors, it's perfect Alivia," he smiles, revealing that deep dimples from both of his cheeks.

I tried to hide my face, I can feel it burning.

Kinuha ko ang paintbrush at hinugasan ito. Hinayaan ko siyang maupo sa harap ko at pagmasdan na hugasan ang mga ginamit ko.

"Hindi mo pa rin sinasabi bakit mahilig ka sa landscapes," paninimula niyang pangungulit.

"Hmm..."

"Ano nga?" he questions again.

I sighed, thinking of a deeper reasoning why I love landscapes.

"Maybe because it gives me peace. Ang cringe. Pero that's just my reason. I like seeing nature, I want to be with the nature. Kapag namatay ako gusto ko sa bundok ako ilibing,"

"Stop... that's not a good joke," he said in a serious tone, "and hindi cringe if it gives you peace," he corrected me again like he always does.

Nagpatuloy ako sa pagbibigay ng rason, "and maybe, instead of dying in the mountain, I want to live first,"

"I see... dapat lumipat ka na, tumira ka na sa bundok, at magpakalayo-layo sa akin," he jokes.

Binato ko siya ng tuyong basahan which he overly reacted.

"Maybe ten years after our law school," I said, "kapag natapos tayo sa Bar, nakapagtrabaho sa firm, or makagawa ng sariling firm, maybe aalis na ako dito,"

"Hmm... good idea..." he nods, agreeing to it.

"Wanna come?"

"I'll think about that," he grins.

"Ang arte mo!" binato ko ulit siya ng isa pang basahan.

And despite those supposed promises we had, he never made it to law school.

I tried seeing the best things that I could think of as reason why this happened to him and to me.

Sabi nila, everything happens for a reason.

Tang ina. Anong reason nang pagkamatay niya? Para mawala na lang siya? Sino bang nagpa-uso niyan?

In the first few semesters I'm inside law school, tama nga si Peter. Gaya ng buhay, gaya ng batas, at gaya ng mga tao sa ilalim nito, kailangan kong maghanap ng magandang rason.

Because not everything is truly good and not everything is truly bad.

I learned how to humanize the law and people who are abused by it. They are not clients, they are humans who have lives, stories, and families. This is what Peter always reminds me of, that there is goodness in each and everyone.

Pero ayoko nang panghawakan lahat ng ito sa kaniya. I just want him back.

It's Christmas and here I am again, wishing for him to come back.