The Black Winter

Chapter 21

Joans pov
Image after image after image flies through my head. I'll be at Hydra, then I'll be on a mission, back at Hydra, then back on a mission, nothing though is making sense. Everything is out of order and I can feel my head starting to spin.

  I'm currently in a pitch black room, I can hear voices all around me. Some male, some female, some with a thick Russian accent, others with an American. Each one, telling me different things.

  "Kill," one voice sings.

  "You worthless piece of shit!" Another one spits.

  I grab my head and drop to my knees. It's starting to become too much.

  "It's your fault," a child like voice chimes in.

  "Kill. Kill! KILL!" One screams.

  "Joan, it's not real," I hear a soft voice speak.

  I open my eyes and look around. No, someone's in my head. I get up and walk to the corner of a room. The moment my back hits the wall, I can feel myself starting to get defensive.

  "Joan, don't let her in." This time, I can make out the voice as Ivan.

  "You work for me, do as I say or I'll kill him," he says.

  "No, no please," I try to beg, but my voice barely comes out.

  "DO IT!" He screams.

  So I try to fight off who ever is in my head. But then the image switches. I can feel myself fall through the ground, landing on a metal table. I try to sit up, but am strapped down to it. I try to get out but the restraints are too strong.

I look to my right and see a shorter man in all white walk up to me with a needle in his hand. I watch as he flicks it and grabs onto my head. I go to squeeze my eyes shut but I feel him force my eye open.

  Then, I am a room. Down the middle is a row of girls that all have some form of injury. Fear is spread across each ones face.

  "Kill them. They are weak, and that will not be tolerated," a woman with a thick Russian accent says.

  Without hesitation, I shoot the girls, one by one. Each one with a bullet through their skull. Then, it switches once more. A man is hanging by his wrists from the ceiling. He's covered in blood and on the verge of death.

  I can feel a hand being placed on my right shoulder. I don't dare to look and see who it is though.

  "Bring in the others!" I hear a man with a sharp voice command.

  I can hear a door open and two different heartbeats. One, a woman that is whimpering, another, a young boy. I watch as the two entire my line of sight. The man, looks up from his hanging position and his eyes go wide.

  "No, no let them go! I-I'll tell you what you want! Please let them go!" The man begs.

  "I'm afraid we're past that point. Black Winter, start with the boy," the man commands.

  I can feel myself walk over to the boy, he has tears streaming down his face.

  "You don't want to do it," I hear a voice say. But nonetheless I keep walking. "Stop!" It yells again.

  Then, before I know it, I have the boys neck in my hand. I lift him off the ground and squeeze, feeling his life drain from his body. As I do so, the woman cries out, begging me to stop.

  Then, I can feel his entire body go limp and his eyes have now popped out of his skull. I drop him in front of the man.

  "I will kill you! Do you hear me?! I will kill you!" He screams.

  "The wife," I hear the man say. I look over to woman and make my way to her.

  I go behind her, and with one motion, I dig my metal hand into her back and wrap my hand around her spine. I can hear her breath hitch and her body become straight.

  "Stop! Don't do it! Don't kill her!" The voice pleads.

  "Do it, kill her," the mans voice says.

  Then, I rip out her spine, sending blood all over the place. Then suddenly, I am in a pitch dark room. I'm covered in blood, both mine and someone else's. In front of me, lays the body of a boy, no older than sixteen.

  "No, no, no, no, no," I cry.

  I grab on to his body and bring him to my chest. I can't help but sob.

  "You killed him. This is your fault. You are a monster. What makes you better than us?"

  I turn around to see red skull and I can feel my face go pale. As I go to turn back around, I am in a concentration camp. There is a line of men, ready to be hanged.

  "Pull the lever," a dark voice sings.

  "No, I-I can't," I squeak out.

  "Do it," it sings once more.

  I place my hand on the handle, and right as I'm about to pull it, I let go and quickly turn around. As I do so, I see a girl hanging from her wrists the girl that I end up realizing is Rose. She is covered head to toe in blood. Her face is bruised and cut. Who could do such a thing? I look down to my hand and see a whip. My hands are covered in crimson red. I step back away from the girls body, never taking my eyes off my hands.

  As I walk backwards, I shake my head in disbelief. "No," is all I am able to get out.

  Then, the floor beneath me shatters and I sit up with a jolt. As I sit up I swing my legs around the bed and I spot Bucky. My head is spinning, I feel like I'm going to throw up. Then I realize that I am. I jump off the bed and my eyes quickly find the trash can.

I run towards it and am instantly on my hands and knees throwing up. I can feel someone pull my hair back, and then they place their hand on my back. I recognize the hand as James, my James. He's here, it's ok. I'm safe, it's fine.

He traces circles on my back, whispering things in my ear like, "It's ok, let it out. You're ok."

  Once I'm done my fun puking session, I lift my head up, practically telling Bucky that I'm ok now. Bucky helps me up and he sets me down on the bed. I just watch my feet dangle, trying to focus on one thing, hoping that that will make the spinning stop.

"Joan, are you ok?" James asks.

"I'm fine," I reassure him.

"Rose what happened?" Bruce asks.

  His voice sounds fuzzy though, fuzzy and far away. Then I can hear Rose say something, but I can't seem to process it.

  Suddenly, my upper body gives out. Right as I'm about to topple over, James catches me and I am now resting against his chest. I keep my head down to my feet, focusing on that one tile.

  I can hear everyone talking, but I can't make anything out, then, I can feel my entire body go limp and I am consumed by darkness.