Angel and Hellfire

Chapter 23

Down the road, Sam and Dean were trying to fly across the country to get to (y/n) in time. Sam trying to call (y/n) until he finally gave up and called David.
"David! I need you to do me a favor man! (Y/n) should be back there and Dean is worried about her. Can you go check on her? We're trying to get there as fast as we can." Sam said.
"Oh shit. What day is it?" David asked.
Sam put David on speaker for Dean to talk to him as well.
"David, I need you to go check on her and have someone stay with her until I get there. She's pregnant right now and needs someone with her!" Dean said hurriedly.
"I know, Dean. What day is she on?"
"She's on day 59. Wait.. you know? What do you mean you know?"
"I figured it out when she started having the same things happen to her that were happening to you. It only happens when she's pregnant and you're not near eachother. No clue why. It just does."
"How long have you known David? Why didn't you tell me?"
"She asked me not to say anything. She is the last person I'll ever go against, but we can all keep an eye on her until you get here. We already know what to do, don't worry guys."
David hung up the phone and Dean put the pedal to the floor.

RHODE ISLAND
David hung up the phone and headed over to the motel. Knocking on (y/n)'s door, he waited patiently for her to open it. She wouldn't open the door so David began talking.
"I know what day it is tomorrow, (y/n). You might as well open the door and let me in before I let your sisters loose on your ass. They will have no trouble breaking this door down to get to you so just open—."
The door swung open to reveal (y/n) in her comfy clothes and a fresh tear rolling down her cheek. He pulled her in for a hug.
"Why does it have to be like this David? Why does god not want me to have a baby?" She asked through her tears.
"I don't know. I wish I could tell you but I can't. I can only be here to help when you need me to be. But that requires you to talk to me first."
"How did you know I was here?"
"I got a call from Sam."
"Of course you did."
"Alright well which one of us gets to hang out with you? Or can I just tell them all you're here?"
She let out a sigh, "they're gonna find out I'm here anyway with you coming back and forth from home so just tell them I'm here I guess."
"I'll give you a couple hours to yourself before I tell them. Just... please, try to keep a level head... I already lost heather.. I need you around okay? Not just for Hallie. I need you around for me. And Helen. For Dean and Sam. And everyone else.. we love you. There's never been and never will be a time when we don't." David said quietly feeling like he might break.
(Y/n) ran a hand down her face and looked around her room. Pictures everywhere. Of everyone. This was her family. She needed them as much as they needed her. Her head needs to stay calm.
"Okay David. Thank you for checking on me. Tell Sam I said thank you too. I just need a little time before tomorrow."
"Okay, dinner at noon though. Helen's making a casserole." And David left.
(Y/n) sat down on the floor with her back against the bed and let the tears flow while she silently cried for the soon to be loss of her baby. Their baby. It was dean's baby too. And she's thinking about calling him. But what if he gets upset with her? She should've told him right away when she found out. Maybe she should call him and just talk to him for a while. But what if he doesn't answer her calls? What if he's upset that she left without saying goodbye first?
'Level headed, (y/n). You told David you would be good. Just relax your mind and stop thinking the absolute worst. Dean won't hate you. He might be mad for a while but he won't ever hate you.' She gave herself a pep talk to try calming her mind.
She pulled the comforter and pillows off the bed and curled up on the floor, just wanting nothing more than to stop tomorrow from happening. She let her guard down for 5 minutes and fell asleep inside her pillows and comforter nest she'd made.
Waking up around 11:30, she knew she had to get ready for dinner at Helen's. She rolled over and sat up, looking around. All the girls brought their own pillows and blankets to her room and laid down for a nap with her while she was sleeping.
(Y/n) couldn't help smiling to herself. These were her family and she wasn't letting them go.
She flung herself dramatically over JJ and gave the biggest sigh ever while slapping the other girls arms and legs to wake them up.
"What are you guys all doing here?" She asked.
"You know exactly why we're here. What time is it?" Gail asked.
"It's 11:30. Go wash up so we can get some dinner at Helen's."
All the girls got up and gathered their blankets and pillows, stacking them all neatly in the corner of the room.
"Why don't you guys just take those home quick?" She asked.
"Because we're staying with you tonight. No, you don't get a choice." Jacie said.
All the girls washed up and headed down to Helen's. They gathered the plates, cups and silverware and set the tables. David came down the stairs and started helping Helen finish up in the kitchen.
"Alright girls and David! Dinners ready. Who's praying?" Helen said.
"How about Emily? It sounds like she has some news for us.." (y/n) said, giving Emily a small smile.
Emily looked around and couldn't help but laugh and smile at everyone.
"I... just finished my final exam in seminary school yesterday!" Emily said proudly.
Everyone cheered and took turns giving Emily a congratulatory hug before they sat down to pray and eat.
Everyone joined hands as Emily led them in prayer, "Lord, we just want to thank you for this food we are about to eat, the company we keep and everything in between. In your name we pray. Amen. Let's eat!"
They all laughed.
"I hope all your prayers rhyme in the future!" Hallie said making everyone laugh harder.
Everyone dug into the food and talked continuously for the next hour. So many laughs were had by them. They all kept looking at (y/n) to make sure she was ok.
"Well, (y/n), how's your last few weeks been? Anything interesting happened?" Helen asked.
"Oh, just the usual. Saving people, hunting monsters."
"The family business!" The girls all yelled and laughed again.
"Well, do you believe you've made a difference?" Helen asked her.
She thought for a moment, and smirked, "yes, I think I did. Only lost one innocent person while trying to save him from himself, but I just want to believe he's in a better place now. His life was his own personal hell."
She thought back to max. If she could have brought him here to be around people who would do nothing but love him and take care of him, his whole life could've turned around for the better. Her family would have protected him. Made him feel safe.
Hallie touched her arm.
"Hey auntie?"
"Yeah Hal?"
"Can you make the dishes dance again and put themselves away?"
Everyone always got a laugh out of Hal's antics and funny moments.
"Of course I can!" (Y/n) said after she got done laughing.
"Everyone finished?"
A round of nods and yes's later, (y/n) raised her hands and made the dishes dance around the table, hop over Hallie, and wash themselves before stacking neatly in the cupboards again. All the silverware lightly bounced on Hallie's nose and head before washing in the sink.
Hallie just giggled and squealed.
David took Hallie upstairs to clean her up. Helen and the girls all went outside to the backyard. They had the beanbag boards all set up and the ladder ball set. For the next 2 hours they all sat in the back yard playing yard games and letting Hallie rotate from team to team while they switched games and talked about everything under the sun.
"How are you feeling, (y/n)?" David asked when he sat down in the chair next to her.
"I'm feeling fine. My head is in a good space right now. I just have a feeling I should have told Dean. I'm starting to get nervous."
"Why don't you give him a call later then and talk to him? I'm sure he would love to hear from you."
"What if he gets mad at me though? I should've told him right away and I didn't."
"But what if he doesn't?"
"What?"
"What if he doesn't get mad at you? What if you're blowing this situation out of proportion and he's actually going to be happy to hear from you? You need to stop thinking so negatively. It's gonna give you frown lines. Turn them into laugh lines instead!"
(Y/n) couldn't stop herself from laughing at David.
"Yeah I'll work on that. I should have stayed with Dean. I'm scared, david."
"I know you are. You made it through the last time without him. I'm not going anywhere and neither is everyone else. Make sure you call him when you go home. Okay?"
"Alright."
David patted her hand and got up to take Hallie for ice cream. (Y/n) thought back to the last time this happened. It was 3 years ago. When she and Dean got into that fight. She had just told Dean how she felt. He was with Cassie, so he said she was just trying to break them up and she was jealous that he finally found someone to love. Little did he know (y/n) was pregnant at the time. She wanted to tell him about the baby, but he had told her she was being predatory over him when he was never in a relationship with her. She left and came here. Soon after, she had her 5th miscarriage. Dean didn't know. 2 days after, she had made an attempt on her life. She couldn't see anything happy.
All she could think at the time was if Dean didn't want her, who else was going to? Why would anyone love a person who couldn't bear them children? They would eventually grow resentful of her and leave. There was nothing good running through her head at that time. Ending it all seemed the only logical solution. David had caught her in time though. When he saw her intentions, he quickly grabbed a hold of her and hugged her. He wouldn't let her go, not until she stopped crying. Heather had gone for a walk and saw what was happening. She hugged (y/n) from the other side and waited quietly with David. The next morning they had to check her into the hospital for a 72 hour psychiatric hold. She was in the hospital for a month getting the mental and emotional support she needed.
David was scared he would have to do it again. (Y/n) could see it written all over his face. She was determined to stay level headed. She couldn't let them down. She finished her tea and told everyone she was going back to her room. They wanted her to stay a little longer but she just needed time.
Back in her room she sat on her couch reading her book she always kept there. For a few hours she just read and tried to nap but she couldn't sleep. Worried about how tomorrow was going to go, she just laid on the couch and rubbed her hands across her belly. Today, she had the privilege of being a mom-to-be. Tomorrow, she goes back to an empty womb. It's a cruel fate for her. She always hoped that this wouldn't happen on the last day. Then, a knock came to the door.
David came in with 2 containers of food.
"No Hallie?" She asked.
"What am I ? Chopped liver?"
"Sorry David. What's up buttercup?"
"Supper. Let's eat."
They sat at the table and ate in silence for a while before David spoke.
"So, have you decided whether to call Dean or not?"
"I'm thinking about it. I'm just nervous. It's hard for me to call when I keep thinking he's going to be angry with me."
"You know with your heart that he's isn't going to be mad. He could never be mad at you. He loves you."
"He could be mad at me. You have no idea."
"Then give me an idea, (y/n). Tell me why you keep thinking that."
"Because he has been mad at me, David. The last time this happened? He doesn't know about that one. He was angry with me and told me to leave. I never got a chance to tell him the last time I was pregnant, we had broken up almost 2 months before and he had met Cassie. When I told him my feelings for him, he told me I was just being possessive and territorial over him and told me to leave." She felt like she was short of breath.
"I think, he regrets what he did, (y/n). He seems like he's done a lot of growing up since then and he is a man in love with you. You should call him and talk. He deserves to know. You'll beat yourself up if you don't."
"How do you know that? How do you know he won't be mad?"
"Because I know what it looks like to see the woman you love and want to give her the world. He has that look. Every single time he sees you."
She got tears, sniffled.
"Call him, (y/n). He's gonna need you too... anyway. I gotta get home to Hallie. Bedtimes in a half hour. If you need me you know where to find me. I'll send the girls over."
"Thanks David. I really appreciate you. You've been good to me."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a nice guy. Just don't make me send Helen over. She will force you to play board games and like it."
(Y/n) laughed so hard at that. Helen would do that to try cheer her up.
"Okay! I'll see you in the morning."
"Get some sleep, everything will be okay." David said as he walked out the door.
(Y/n) went into the bathroom and sat on the floor. She pulled out her phone and hesitated for a moment before finally calling Dean. It only rang twice before she heard his voice.
"(Y/n)? Hey sweetheart, are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine, just wanted to hear your voice. That's all."
"What's going on, (y/n). You don't sound very good. Talk to me."
It's now or never...
"Dean I have something to tell you, and I don't want you to be mad at me."
"I could never be mad at you sweetheart."
She took a deep breath and thought about how she would say it.
"Dean...I'm pregnant." She squeaked out.
There was silence on the other end of the line for a minute.
"Dean? Are you there?"
"Yeah I'm here sweetheart. I'm not mad. How are you feeling? What day is it?"
"Tomorrow's the day, Dean... I'm scared... I should have told you sooner. I'm so sorry."
"How long have you known about it?"
She sniffled again.
"About a month.... I found out when you were dealing with that pagan god back in Indiana.. I had a weird dream when I was sick and went to get a test."
"A dream? What kinda dream?"
She wiped her eyes and continued, " I was walking and ran into that ugly scarecrow. It just told me it doesn't take children. Then it looked at my belly. So when I was feeling better I went to the pharmacy in that town."
"Why didn't you tell me sooner? I would've helped you through this."
"Because Dean, we had just seen each other again for the first time in 3 years. This is not the way I intended us to start out."
"For the first time in 3 years, I knew exactly where you were. For two months, I could breathe easy because I knew exactly where to find you. And it was right next to me. You and Sam got kidnapped and I lost my mind. I thought I was about to lose you both. You have no idea how much I need you in my life sweetheart. Please. Tell me everything. I don't care what it is. If it's important to you, I want to know about it."
She let the tears flow freely as he spoke.
"What can I do to help you (y/n)?"
"There's nothing you can do for me Dean. I left you in South Dakota and you're too far away to get to me in time. I don't wanna leave here though. Everyone here is gonna help me. You don't have to worry."
"We promised to take care of each other. I think somewhere along the lines we took a break, but there isn't one thing I wouldn't do for you, to protect you, care for you, love you. Give me something to do for you please!"
She could hear Dean getting choked up. It didn't help her to hear that because she cried a little more then. What had she done?
"Just talk to me Dean. Hearing your voice calms me down."
"Okay, what do you want me to talk about?"
"Anything dean, tell me about baby. Explain to me how to maintain her like I don't know anything about cars. Anything."
She and Dean talked on the phone for another hour, about everything they could think of. They laughed and cried and laughed harder. At least they could be like this right now. Deans phone was about to run out of battery so he would need to charge it. They decided to hang up then, but before they did, Dean stopped her.
"Sweetheart? I just want you to know that you are absolutely amazing to me and I love you so much. I know this is hard, and I'm gonna call back in a while, please stay strong for me will you?"
"I can do that. I love you, Dean."
They both hung up the phone and she laid her head on her knees. She sniffled a few times and got off the floor. In the mirror, her face was puffy and red. She wanted nothing more than to be wrapped in deans arms watching a movie on the couch. She never should have left him..
Splashing water on her face, she turned around and walked out of the bathroom, to see all the girls in her room, tears in their eyes.
In a silent nod of agreement, they all understood that talking about it wasn't necessary. Their pillows and blankets were all ready to go so they just climbed into their places and for another couple hours the girls filled her in on the happenings around town lately. Much to her delight, Mr. Johansson sent pictures back to them of his trip down the coast with Edith. He saw everything he could. And got the car in every picture to show their adventure. She laughed and just enjoyed being with her sisters for a little while. They truly made her believe in the crazy impossible things sometimes. Right now, they just wanted her to believe everything is going to be okay.
One by one, they all fell asleep, except (y/n). She was deeply scared. It was 11:47 when Dean called back. She could hear Sammy snoring in the background.
"We really gotta have him checked out. He snores like a trucker." (Y/n) said to him.
Dean laughed, "yeah we should probably call a specialist."
"Well what are you guys doing?"
"Oh, we started a new hunt, just driving right now."
"Really, fill me in. What are we hunting."
"We? No, not we. You're on down time."
"Humor me."
"I'm not gonna talk about it right now. I don't want to. I just want to talk to you about something other than a case."
"It's midnight Dean.. the day is beginning..." she took a deep breath and leaned against the bathtub.
"It's ok, this doesn't change anything. You... you're still the same girl I grew up with, the same girl that can kick my ass when I need it, the girl who helped me with Sammy. You're the love of my life and I'm sorry it took me so long to see that."
"I miss you so much, Dean. I wish I never left you there. It was a mistake."
"Sweetheart, can I tell you something?"
"You know you can."
"I'm already on my way to you. I've been on my way to you since about an hour after you left. I'm not going to let you go through this without me."
"You knew? How long have you known!"
"I put two and two together probably an hour before you were abducted by crazy people. I don't know why I didn't see it sooner. I've just been trying to get to you ever since."
"You should have said something Dean. I probably would've rethought my plans if I'd known you knew about it."
"No you wouldn't have you stubborn ass. You would've done the same thing regardless of me knowing or not."
"How long before you're here?"
"I should be there a little before 7."
"Have you slept? Maybe you should let Sam drive for a while."
"I'm fine, sweetheart. You know me. I'll be there soon."
"Dean?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you. I'm sorry I ran away. I should've known better than to leave you. You've been with me through it all. Saved me from hell. Thank you Dean."
"Ya know, you've saved me from my own hell too. You've gone to bat for me at every turn. You just never cease to amaze me (y/n). Someday, I'm gonna marry you."
"Yeah, you kinda have to be alive to do that."
"What do you mean?"
"I found your rap sheet Dean. And at the bottom it says you died in St. Louis. I've been meaning to ask you about that."
"Oh, yeah that was a shapeshifter."
"What? No way! Tell me everything! I've never seen one before!"
"This is what you wanna talk about. Shapeshifters?"
"Just.... It's gonna help me fall asleep. Please?"
For the next hour Dean explained everything that happened in St. Louis and it helped her to slowly drift off to sleep hearing his voice. Eventually he hung up the phone when she stopped responding to him and he could hear her even breathing.
He didn't want to hang up but he needed to keep driving and focus on the road to get to her. As soon as he hung up, he pressed the gas pedal a little harder.
Meanwhile, (y/n) had fallen asleep on the bathroom floor for a few hours.
Some of the other girls woke up early and got confused as to where she was until they tried the bathroom door. It was locked. They started pounding on the door but it wouldn't budge.
Everyone was awake at this point, and they all jumped when dean rushed through the door at 6:30am like a mad man.
"Where is she!" He said quickly.
"She's locked in the bathroom and she's not responding to us! We can't get the door open!" JJ said.
"You need to move, now!"
All the girls jumped out of the way and Dean kicked the door in. He never realized there was a 2nd lock on the bathroom door before. (Y/n) was passed out inside the bathtub; blood flowing freely from the miscarriage she was currently having. There was so much blood it covered the entire bottom of the tub.
"(Y/n)! Shit! Hey, hey sweetheart I'm here, look at me! Please open your eyes! Please!" Dean took her face in his hands. She was paler than usual and not responsive to anything. Checking her pulse, it was faint but there.
"Get me a blanket, Sam, get the car! We gotta go!"
JJ passed him a comforter. He pulled her out of the tub and wrapped her in the blanket.
In the car, JJ gave Sam directions to the hospital and the other girls followed behind in 2 vehicles. Sam pulled up to the ER doors and Dean jumped out with (y/n) in his arms. Blood covered his shirt and pants.
"Help! Please help her! She's having a miscarriage and I'm afraid she's hemorrhaging! Someone help!" Dean yelled as they got through the doors.
3 nurses rolled over a gurney and took her back with them to get checked out.
"Sir, are you coming with? We need to know what happened and her medical history."
Dean quickly followed, leaving Sam and the other girls in the waiting room of the ER. Twenty minutes later, Dean came back to sit with them. All he could do was stare at the doors. Tears stained his face. Blood on his hands and clothes.
"Dean, what's going on? What are they doing?" Sam asked quietly.
"They uh... they took her back for surgery. Her hemorrhaging was worse than they thought so they need to go in and fix it. They said they would send someone out with updates." Dean took a deep breath and put his head in his hands. JJ rubbed deans shoulder.
"She's going to be okay, Dean. Everything is going to be alright. Hope for the best, okay?"
Dean nodded at her words and stared at the door. "They wouldn't let me go with her into surgery. I hope I wasn't too late." He whispered.
No one said anything.
An hour passed before someone finally came to update them.
"Dean singer?"
"Yeah, that's me! How's my wife?" Dean stood up and walked to the doctor, everyone else in tow.
"She's in recovery right now, she's lost a lot of blood. We did have to give her 2 units while we cauterized any open bleeds in her uterus. She's going to be weak for a while from this but I have every confidence that she will recover quickly. When she's ready to get a room you can all come see her but for now Mr. Singer,would you like to come sit with her until she wakes?"
"Yes, I would." And Dean followed the doctor back to the recovery wing. Dean felt like he was about to hyperventilate until the doctor told him to just take a deep breath. That's something (y/n) would have done.
Around a curtain in the recovery wing, (y/n) had an oxygen mask on laying flat on her back.
"Your wife should make a full recovery. I'd like to share my sympathy for the loss of your child. This is never an easy thing for me to do. It reminds me of my first week in residency actually."
"What do you mean?"
"I used to work in a hospital in Oklahoma. We had a patient come in, 18 years old. Turns out she was in an 'all girls rehabilitation center' that wasn't really what they made it out to be. Many girls that passed through there were raped. This one girl, she got the place shut down. She  saved the lives of many girls before the owner figured out it was her sneaking these girls off the property to safety. They had this girl chained up naked in a cement room and raped continuously until one day all those girls she saved came back when they got in contact with her older brother. They killed the owner and two 'farm hands' that knew the truth about this place. When they got her to the hospital I worked at, the girl was still alive and awake, demanding every other girl be examined by female doctors before anyone even touched her. She just happened to be in the middle of a miscarriage when all this was going on. My attending went to try and sedate her so we could help her, but she recognized him as the doctor that drugged her in that basement. The brother ended up taking him down while all the girls surrounded her for protection. I couldn't believe what I'd seen that entire time. It was like pack instinct for those girls. They protected her with their lives like she risked hers for them. She lost a lot of blood by the end of that and passed out so we had to rush her to surgery. She was barely 18 at the time and went through absolute hell so those other girls wouldn't have to. Ever since then, all I can do is think about that girl. Wondering where she is now. Where they all are." The doctor got tears in her eyes.
"I'm so sorry Mr. Singer! I've never told anyone that before! When I seen you and all those girls come in it just gave me the biggest flashback of my life."
Dean just looked at her and sighed.
"It's ok, how long before you think she will be up?"
"Maybe a half hour. She's a fighter."
"I know she is. She's the toughest woman I know."
"I'll leave you two alone for a while."
Dean sat down and took her hand in his. He wanted to cry over the loss of their baby, he wanted to shout with all his might, he wanted to hit something. He couldn't do any of that, because it wasn't him who had the right to be angry, but (y/n). She was being forced to endure all of this every time this happened. Of all people, she deserved it the least. All Dean could do was take care of her when it happened.
He rubbed his thumb along the top of her knuckles and just memorized her face. In a deep enough sleep, she looked like she was at peace. He didn't want to ever forget that look, even if it is from the result of something horrible. She deserved rest, and some quiet. For a half hour Dean rubbed her arm and told her how good of a mother she will be someday and how they would get the good life if he had anything to say about it. He wouldn't let that dream of theirs die.
Soon enough she slowly started to wake up and pull at the mask on her face. Dean had to take her hands down and put the mask back on before telling her she needed it.
"Sweetheart, you need the oxygen, leave the mask alone and look at me." He took her face in his hands and ran his thumbs along her cheeks. Her hands slowly came up to hold his and tears began to roll down her face, which made tears roll down his too.
"I'm sorry, Dean! I'm so sorry!" She whispered.
"Don't you ever be sorry, not for this. Not for being as strong as you are when this happens. You never apologize to me, ever. You hear me?"
He whispered back and just hugged her into his chest while she cried and gripped his shirt. He couldn't stop himself from crying.
Eventually she let go and looked around for the doctor, who just came around the corner.
"Oh good, you're awake. How are you feeling?"
"I'm hurting. Physically and emotionally. I'm just tired doc."
"Well let's get you into a room. You have a lot of people waiting for you."
"My sisters and brother I assume?" (Y/n) asked. Both Dean and the doctor confirmed with a nod.