Who you see is not who I am

61.

Chosen pov
"Hey baby you up" I nodded as I turned around and put my head on Ari's chest "yeah I couldn't really sleep" so it's the next morning after I got into it with my mom and to be honest I'm hurt like really heart broken

Like I was arguing and poking my chest out but in all seriousness it hurts knowing that my mom didn't believe me and my dad didn't stick up for me like I just love my parents so much and I just wish they could love me back the same amount

"I know that shit was crazy last night do you wanna talk about it" I shook my head "no that's arguing was just one of many more to come and I just wanna lay here with y'all before I have to deal with it again"

He shook his head "how could your mom treat you like that like your not her daughter her youngest at that my parents worship my little sister she gets off the hook with everything I'm surprised she still at the college"

I chuckled "it's been like this my whole life not just with me but with all my siblings all of us have a bad story about my parents but me and my brother king probably have the worst that's why we are so close now but

As far as my mom she's been like that forever she loves my dad and always explained that he is her soul mate and if it came down to us or him she's choosing my dad and at first just being taught that growing up I thought it was the most adorable most romantic thing on earth

Until she got jealous of her own daughters and I mean not like I wish I had that body type jealous it was like I used to sit in my dads office on the floor next to him on the floor and color while he worked sometimes when I was little

And while my mom was out doing her own thing but one days she came home early and seen us just talking,laughing,and eating snacks she barged in angrily and told my dad he was making me a needy bitch and he needed to stop swaddling me

And my dad did protest and argue with her for a few minutes but eventually gave up but to make sure my dad did as she said she stopped going out to her after brunches with her friends just to make sure

And shit sometimes I feel bad for my sister because before I was born my mom was way younger so I know it was ten times worse"

He shook his head "so if all of y'all basically went through the same thing why does queen hate you" I huffed "because before what had happened to me I acted just like my mom stuck up snotty and a bitch like you couldn't tell me anything well I acted like that with people I felt under me

But after what happened I realized that I wasn't happy I fell into a deep ass depression hating the way I looked,acted,and dressed  my body dysmorphia was crazy I thought I was huge and when I brought clothes that I though would fit they would be hella big

Making me wanna scream I hated myself but one day with a lot of help from my bestie I stopped feeling sorry for myself and started eating better and going to our home gym making me loose 150 and for a girl that was almost 300 pounds

That's was a difference then my new found personality followed I went from being a bitch to just some people to everybody I hated the world and my sister on the other hand I guess always hated the world but didn't have the strength or support

To burn this bitch down she has a best friend but her best friend is a sweet soft spoken white girl and her husband is ok but he's more of a keep the peace over let's fuck this shit up and I think she wishes she had the courage to do what I did

After what happened I didn't talk to my parents for a year only communicating through their assistance then right when I graduated I spent 3 months on a cruise with Bebe family before going to college and going no contact all up until

My parents popped up threading to cut off all my expenses and freshman me was so worried but then again I just shook that shit off and got a job so  yeah"

He huffed "damn baby you went through so much if I was you I probably wouldn't have made it this far" I nodded "when you have parents like mine all you can really do is keep your distance and hope you'll be fine in the end

And I like to think I'm doing pretty ok especially now that I have y'all like for a long time I thought I would never be able to love again my heart hurt all the time and the thought of love made me sick but when I met ace he showed me that it was ok to love again

Then when you and Juni came into the picture y'all showed me ain't nothing wrong with be vulnerable and communication is a good thing and I just want you to know that I love and appreciate you I love and appreciate all of you

For showing I don't have to be this mean stuck up person or I don't have to be a bitch to earn respect I thought I couldn't be taught anything but clearly I was so wrong" I started to tear up a single tear hitting Ari on his chest

Making him lift me up and lay me on top of him "I love you to but don't let us take all your credit it takes so much strength to go through as much as you did and still be as tough as your are your amazing baby"

I huffed as I let my tears keep coming before for once in my life laying in here with these men I finally feel safe