Who you see is not who I am

60.

Chosen pov
"Who do you think you are" ok so it's been a few hours and visiting hours are over so we all made our way back into the house because I was about to book a hotel and just stay there with the boys but

My father insisted that we all stayed at home because we would be spending unnecessary money and he would like to see everybody when he got him from the hospital in 2 days but

My mother is not happy with me at all and for what I will never know "I'm chosen that is the name my father gave me" she scuffed "don't get cute with me how could you just put this family through so much term oil then come back crying to

Your father like it's not your fault" I rolled my eyes "because it's not my fucking fault I left but I was just gonna take a few months to cool down before contacting y'all again so whatever my father decided to do

Own his own like the grown ass man he is didn't have shit to do with me he did it cause he wanted to not because I asked" she shook her head "I never knew I could raise such a selfish and self centered child"

I rolled my eyes "I don't know how momma look in the mirror I'm the younger version of you plus I don't even know why your confronting me when I'm pretty sure dad didn't even tell you the whole story and I'm not Finna tell you because he doesn't need any hate right now"

She rolled her eyes "what happened with what when you went through your little cutting faze well baby news flash your not always gonna be the prettiest girl in the room and that's something your gonna have to deal with" I raised my eyebrows

"What the fuck are you talking about that's not why I tried to kill myself what exactly did daddy tell you" you see my family knows I tried to kill my self and that I hated myself and my body for years but I'm pretty sure everything that happens stayed between me and my dad

"He told me you had some self image issues and I told him your just to sensitive not everybody thinks your pretty and it's gonna be like that forever you just need to get over it" I looked at her funny because even though that's not the reason

That response is crazy "you know what momma that response is crazy so think this conversation might be over I'm going in my room" I said as I was about to walk up the steps because we were standing in the kitchen

"If your self image issues aren't the problem tell me what really happened then so I can know what's going on so I will stop thinking that your the reason my husband is in the hospital"

I shook my head "that's a conversation for you and daddy to have" I said as I was about to turn around but she ran around the table and grabbed my hand "just tell me what really happened that night so maybe I can fucking understand this whole situation

I've been left in the dark for years" I snatched my hand away and said "fine since you wanna know so bad the day I tried to kill myself is the day miles posted this video" I frantically grabbed my phone outta my pocket before scrolling in my camera and found the video

And yes I've kept it over the years to show myself how far I have come as a person and to remind me why I am the way I am she then watched a few seconds of the video on full volume hearing my screams and cry's

Through the phone but I guess she couldn't watch anymore so she just turned the phone off and sitting it down on the face "what In Jesus name is that" it's me when I was 16 with the guy I thought I trusted and the nigga you thought I should have been with instead of my partners now

when daddy found out he was furious so he talked to Mr.Michelson threatening to send his son to jail but Mr. Michelson I guess threw out the right number for daddy to change his mind forcing me to go to home school for a year

Then In senior year still date and communicate with Miles because it was good for his father campaign and imagine that shit broke me thinking that my dad didn't care about me or love me I didn't understand why this was happening to me

So what happened today was your husband trying to make up for his wrongs because he's 56 and doesn't wanna end up in a nursing home but if you don't believe me go on his computer

And search up my name then look for the date may 12th,2019 I might be angry but one thing I have never been is a liar" my mom looked at me anger still very visible on her face but it was also denial and disappointment

"You know I fine that hard to believe when you lied about a lot of things in the past I just didn't think you would be capable of accusing my husband your fucking father for doing such I'll things like don't you think you have done enough Chosen"

I scuffed "look I told you what happened and what to look for if you don't believe me don't I could give a damn  but I'm for damn sure done with this conversation because I've prided myself for years to become this person

And I'll be damned if I let anybody even my own fucking momma break me down but I should have known right that's you would take his side even after everything he's done to me,my siblings,and even you

And I'm not saying we shouldn't forgive him because I love my dad but we could at least hold him accountable it just hurt me for years seeing that my mom was a dick hungry pushover"

My last statement made the room go pin drop silent as I shook my head at my mom and walked up the steps as my partners follow behind me