Who you see is not who I am

15.

Chosen pov
"Girl I think your being very over dramatic" I shrugged my shoulders "I possibly am I just don't know what to do at this point like I'm in love with him but I just don't think I'm ready to change"

My bestie looked at me funny "what do you mean by change" I huffed "I mean become this soft submissive girl they want me to be I have spent so many years building my wall I think it's to early to knock them down

He told me I have a temper but the reason for my temper is from the years of anger I felt feeling like I was my parents odd ball child then being bullied at school

He said I'm bad at communicating well I was never taught how to properly how can I have an A in something I was never fucking taught

He said I'm not ignorant but I think I am being still knowing he's right I don't feel comfortable dropping my poker face because what if I do people will run all over me like they use to

What if I can't fight back anymore" I looked up at the phone with my tear soaked face and seems my best friend face full with tears to believe it or not me and Bebe had the same personality at one point but then she met her fiancé

"I know the confusion and pain your feeling but if you have someone willing to go through that change with you and be there through all the bad time I say go for it I did and I'm about to get married in a few years

Sometimes letting down your walls for a person you love is not always a bad thing you just gotta know in your heart who to give the key to"

Oh my goodness I hate when she's right having a stubborn personality is gonna be the end of me one day

"Uhhhh fine" my bestie chuckles "you know what you have to do hang up this phone and i wish you luck I love you"

"I love you too"

*time jump*
Ight so I just walked in the house but I didn't immediately see the boys but I did hear talking in the kitchen so I walked over towards it to see all the boys talking and laughing happily

So I just went for it I walked into the door frame where everyone could see me and said "my name is Chosen Trinity Thompson but my best friend and my Boyfriend Avion call me Chuchi along with some family members

I am from Baltimore Maryland and I was born in saint John's hospital on November 22 2002 my parents names are Omarion Thompson and Zaniyah Thompson I also have three siblings

That are all older than me because some people might call me an oops baby it's my oldest brother golden my oldest sister Queen and my brother Pharaoh

There is not much I can really say for myself as far as my life goes because I have lived for people my whole life I didn't have the best relationship with my parents so I became an overachiever to make them happy and it does

But at what cost of mine I don't have a great relationship with my siblings because I was born so late from me and my brother prince it's a 4 year age difference so all my siblings look at me as the annoying little sister

So when I was younger I just didn't try to build a relationship with them but it all worked out because I gave myself my own siblings her name is Belize Chambers but everybody knows her as Bebe

We have the type of relationship that when you see her you see me but unfortunately and fortunately my best friend moved to New York to be with her now fiancé and I'm very happy for her but not ok but I don't let her know because I don't want her to fill bad

Because over the years I feel like I have no right to say anything to her for choosing her happiness I met Bebe in kindergarten and we have been solid since so that means she has seen it all

That mean when I first started getting bullied kids would call me all types of names and some even took it as far as physical hitting me so I was to scared to fight back

So for a long time you can say Bebe lived for me she would always fight and argue with people in my behalf until I became strong enough to defend myself

So when she found someone to live for her I was more than ok with letting her free but I'm sure ass you all can see especially Ace I'm very stubborn and trust me it has gotten worse since Bebe left and I'm going to completely

Honest and transparent I don't know any other way to act when I loved people and was a soft human I got bullied and beat up but when I turned into this I haven't gotten fucked with since

So I'm sorry if I have been hard to deal with but as y'all can see I don't take change very well so I understand if you don't wanna be with me anymore and if you two don't want any parts of me

Tonight If this talk doesn't work out I will be calling my father and be transferred to a new school and thank you for listening"

I then turned around and started walking towards the door but before I could grab the door knob my shoulder was harshly grabbed and I was turned around to face 3 foggy eyed men

I was waiting for them to say something but they didn't Ace just picked me up from the floor and carried me to the bedroom we are all supposed to share then he laid me on the bed and we cuddled in silence for a few seconds then I couldn't help myself and start crying

"I'm so sorry I don't mean to be this way" "shhhh baby girl we are not mad just relax" Ari said as he ran his fingers through my curly hair

I have to try and at least change