𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠- 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝟏.

25. 𝐔𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲

june 16, Saturday 1988

After the events of yesterday, I immediately went home, avoiding both of them. What was going through my mind? I received several missed calls from Slash, but I just stayed in bed. I felt guilty, yet I somewhat enjoyed Axl's kiss. No! Stop it, Amira. My feelings were completely jumbled. As I sat in bed, I noticed it was already 12 in the afternoon.

I stared at my bedroom ceiling, my mind a whirlwind of thoughts. The image of Axl's eyes, filled with other emotions other than anger or irritation, was seared into my brain. The encounter had shaken me, but I knew I needed to clear my head and figure out my feelings.

The soft hum of the air conditioner was the only sound in the room, providing a background noise to my chaotic thoughts. I turned on my side, hugging my pillow tightly as I tried to make sense of everything that had happened. My mind kept replaying the kiss, the intensity of it, the desperation. I closed my eyes, a sigh escaping my lips.

Axl and I had were probably the two that least talked. I communicated with the other guys better than him. His feelings were confusing, and now everything that had happen last night made it even more confusing. The whole situation was confusing, and I felt a pang of guilt thinking about Erin. What was I doing, getting involved in this mess? I shook my head, trying to dispel the guilt. I couldn't deny the fact that I had responded to Axl's kiss, that for a moment, I had let myself get carried away.

And then there was Slash. His reaction when he walked in on us, the surprise, and confusion written all over his face. I groaned, burying my face in the pillow. I had surely messed things up with him. We had been on the brink of something, I could feel it. I mean, he was always so touchy and we almost kissed. That has to mean something right? But now, it just felt like a missed opportunity.

The ringing of the phone broke my train of thought. I hesitated for a moment before reaching out to pick it up. Part of me hoped it was Slash, while the other part was terrified it could be Axl. I took a deep breath, mustering up the courage to answer.

I picked up the phone, lifting it to my ear. "Hello?" I said softly. It was neither axl or slash. It was Rhonda. Thank god. "hi sweetie" I heard her say. I sighed softly. "Hi" I mumbled softly. "Hey so I need to talk to you about something-something happen and I need to talk to you about it" I heard her say. My heart skipped a bit. Did she know about the kiss? What the hell am I worried about. I mean it's nothing to do with her. But it does with my job if I wanna keep taking pictures of bands and shit. I cleared my throat quietly, "uh-y-yeah what is it" I asked gently. Scratching the back of my head. "So Tom called she said the boys-" I heard her shuffling from the other side of the phone, probably moving papers or something. My hand taped against my leg impatiently. "The boys want you as their permanent photographer."

Wait what?!

I was taken aback. "Are you serious?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. This was a lot to process. It was an opportunity, definitely, but did I really want to step back into that chaotic whirlwind? I mean I loved my job, at least as long as I had been working there but  I loved capturing moments. But with everything that had happened, I wasn't sure if I could separate my professional and personal feelings.

The line was silent for a moment. "Yes, sweetie, I'm serious," Rhonda replied, her voice soft and kind. "They all agreed, they said your work is exceptional and they want you to be a part of their journey. But I understand if you need some time to think about it."

I let out a sigh, running a hand through my hair. It was a great opportunity, a chance of a lifetime. But at the same time, it meant being around Axl and Slash all the time. Could I handle that? I felt my heart pounding in my chest. I was torn between my passion for photography and the confusing emotions I had for Axl and Slash.

"I...I need some time," I stammered, my mind racing. "I need to think." "Of course, sweetie," Rhonda said, her voice full of understanding. "Take all the time you need. Just remember, whatever decision you make, I'll support you. But try and make up your mind before the 20th. That when tour starts for them."

I thanked Rhonda and quickly hung up the phone, allowing it to slip from my grasp and back onto the holder. I sank back into the plush comfort of my pillows, my heart pounding hard in my chest as if it was trying to physically break free from the confusion that was constricting me.

My mind was a whirlpool, a tumultuous storm of thoughts and emotions that I couldn't decipher. I stared up at the ceiling, the blank expanse of white seeming to mirror the blank state of my mind. It was as if I was lost in a whiteout, unable to see the path ahead or even the immediate ground beneath me. The weight of the decision was pressing heavily on me, a constant pressure that seemed to squeeze the air out of my lungs.

I drew in a shaky breath, trying to calm the rapid beating of my heart. I could feel the beginnings of a headache pressing at my temples and I closed my eyes, hoping to stave off the impending pain. I needed to think, to really process what Rhonda had told me.

The boys wanted me as their permanent photographer. The words echoed in my mind, a constant reminder of the opportunity that had been unexpectedly thrown my way. It was a chance of a lifetime, an opportunity that any photographer would kill for. But for me, it was so much more complicated. It wasn't just about the job, it was also about Axl and Slash.

Could I really handle being around them all the time? Could I separate my personal feelings from my professional ones? I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure about anything anymore.

And yet, despite all the chaos and confusion, I couldn't deny the spark of excitement that was slowly starting to ignite within me. I loved photography so far- And the thought of being able to turn my passion into a full-time job so quickly, to be able to capture the raw, unfiltered moments of a band's journey... it was enticing.

I sighed, turning on my side and wrapping my arms tightly around myself as if trying to physically hold myself together. I needed time. Time to think, time to process,

time to figure out what I really wanted.
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(next chapters gonna be long.)