Maggots are eating at my brain

Talks

When Mia came over I told her about everything I've felt that I haven't been able to tell anyone for 4 months. Well at least talk to someone who isn't a bad advice giver or listener.

For 4 months I was trapped in my house. For 4 months I felt totally alone. For 4 months I wanted to kill myself.

Honestly thinking about it all makes me want to cry, well actually thinking about it now I am crying.

I am trying to be better but I can't really get better when there's people around me that are just always negative and putting them selfs down. It drives me crazy.

With in those 4 months I was slowly going crazy and just making the people around me hate me. I wasn't ever told how to exactly handle all that stuff. And it's not like I could post on here I never had a moment alone where I really could.

There probably were many different ways in which I could have reached out but I was just giving up on myself.

I spent 4 months wanting to kill myself and feeling as though no matter who I would tell would just criticize me or not even listen.

I'm so fucking tired it's actually ridiculous. Mentally and physically, I've thought of just cutting contact with everyone and to just rot away but I hate that idea.

I'm trying to get better but everything is draining and annoying. The past week I haven't had a night to myself so I've been annoyed and tired so I apologize if I've been annoyed or something. I want to try and spend the rest of the week alone but I do want to talk to Mia about something's so I might talk to her about hanging out this week.

Sorry I've just thought about something's and I just feel like shit about it all so this story isn't really about anything specific it's just ranting.