Maggots are eating at my brain

It hurts to breath

THIS IS SAD.

I feel like the everything holding me together is just becoming the thing that's gonna take me apart.

I'm really tired. All the time. Not really mentally but physically. I don't get it, I get enough sleep.

I've been so focused on taking care of myself but I hate myself. It's really hard to care about my well being when I hate myself. I don't know why I hate myself.

I think about my body image way more than I should. Nobody really knows. I've been having the urge to force myself to throw up when I eat to much. Don't know why honestly. I don't way a lot it's just the fact that I'm seen as someone who eats 10 times more than anyone else. I haven't forced myself to throw up. I just haven't been eating as much as I normally do.

My stomach hurts. My head hurts. I'm just really sad right now.

I wish my mom could just get me on medication. I know it might sound messed up because I've never been on meds. I don't know how it feels or even I need meds.

Maybe I'm just a completely normal teenage girl that's just sad. I don't know why I'm sad.

I just got done hanging out with baste and shae. Shae went to go drop him off. Honestly I wish I took the opportunity and went myself. Baste gave me a long hug before he left, honestly it was nice. I also kept laying on shae, basically acting like a baby with separation issues. Except I didn't cry when she made me get off I just kind of got tired.

I feel horrible right now. I had a good day yet I feel like today sucked. I actually can't really remember a lot of today.

I wish I could just allow people to read my mind. Not forever but just for a day. Or just for right now. Maybe someone else would be able to understand. I can't even understand my own thoughts half the time so I doubt it. But I'm just so tired. So fucking tired.

I'm tired of talking about my issues. I just don't care anymore. I care enough to put effort in others. Maybe I should start caring for myself. But I feel like I've spent so much time caring for myself to the point that I can't tell what I need to work on. Right now I wish everything just went dark.

Nothing. I want nothing right now. I want complete darkness and silence. I want to not be able to think and to not be able to speak. I want nothing. Just emptiness.

I've been trying to be positive. I have. But it feels like when I am I get negative in return.

My eye hurts, my head hurts, my stomach hurts, my knees hurt. I fucking hurt right now.